In a cataclysm known as the Nightfall, the worlds were almost completely destroyed by a harrowing surge of darkness.
In the shadows of the ensuing chaos a new group has taken shape. Led by an Aegyl named Kalos, the 11th Hour touts an esoteric knowledge of how to combat the darkness and restore the worlds. They might be the worlds’ best chance at survival; but nobody really knows enough about them to confirm or deny their claims.
On the brink of collapse, the universe holds its breath in anticipation. Of restoration? Of destruction? It is up to individuals like yourself to decide.
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Welcome to the RP Academy, Garland. I'm Shiay and I shall be your Instructor for this session ^^
Here is how this will work:
I would like for you to post to this thread as if posting a new RP thread with your character. I will then see what it is that you can improve on and point them out to you, as well as replying as one of my own characters.
Please understand that this is, by no means, a way to say that your skills are lacking, or that you have been singled out; it is merely a means to assist your growth as a writer and a roleplayer. We all have things to learn from each other; just as I have things I would like to teach you, I'm sure that there's also things that I can learn from you~
The rules are as as follows:
•Respect the site rules. Which means no powerplaying/godmodding other people's characters. I and others don't really care for that type of behavior D:
• Listen to advice. I cannot teach one who will not learn.
• Feel free to disagree If you have issue with something I said, please feel free to point it out. This is a group effort. That said, should you do so, provide reasoning and your alternative views in a calm, rational, and non-confrontational manner, I will treat you with respect, and expect the same treatment in return.
• Have fun. This is a game; furthermore, this is out of plot (unless you later choose to add this into continuity) roleplay. Anything that does not conflict with the rules goes; and that said, we have a little more leeway here. Namely, the location, situation, and anything else are up in the air. If you want to try out something, feel free to do so.
((Okay, I will try to not make my guy crazy strong or do any thing out of place.))
After many long weeks of hiding within the crystal catacombs of Radiant Garden, Garland had finally emerged believing now is the time to begin his return to power.
Although, this world is still new to him, as it was not long ago that his world had been devoured by the very darkness he used to serve. His intentions of ruling darkness had dwindled to nothingness, after his run-in with the Heartless, Chaos, who had once possessed him after he opened his heart to supreme darkness. Believing he had reached that state of power that no one else could reach, he very well may have set the doom for his world. After the Warrior of Light (Another character from his world.) had defeated Chaos, the balance of Light and Darkness became too havic and the world fell apart spreading the inhabiting hearts across the cosmos.
Like many (Final Fantasy characters), Garland found refuge on the world Radiant Garden, but because of his shame of destroying his own world, he had consealed his heart in darkness and plunged deep within the crystal catacombs far out in the crystal plains of Radiant Garden. For many weeks he planned and schemed on how he could rule this world, but he has no intent on plunging deeper in darkness then he already has.
He had finally come up with a plan after at least 2 months. He believes that many of the other villains must be scattered around the cosmos as well, and that if he can unite them, perhaps he may be able to seize control of Radiant Garden and make it a new Dissidia.
He thought to himself, "Where should I begin? Perhaps 1 or 2 had also become part of Radiant Garden. If so, I must start my search here. But wait... there may be thoose who seek to rid me from this world. I can't just go barging around noticeably."
Garland sat down near a large riged rock, where the ground look noticably soft enough for him to not get pain from his armor. He sat down in the some what cool shade and took time to quickly think his plan over... just to be sure he knew what he was doing.
Jan 22, 2009 18:45:15 GMT -4
Last Edit: Jan 22, 2009 19:08:08 GMT -4 by garland
Oki dokie, pokey~ I'll be posting my out of character speak in green from now on, so as not to confuse this with my actual roleplaying ^^
Firsty~ I'd like to point out this: "Garland had finally emerged believing now is the time to begin his return to power." When I read it, it doesn't exactly look right D: maybe because to me, it should look a little like this: "Garland had finally emerged, believing now was the time to begin his return to power."
Other than that, everything else looks good besides the fact that you add basically OOC information in your RP post. *wags a finger* It's okay not to post that information. Plus, it makes the reader able to read without messing up his or her flow. Also, numbers~ some people get real nitpicky about having them typed out instead of just the number (I'll reassure you that I'm not one of those people), just letting you know ^^
There she was, letting out gasps of air as she grasped the hilt of her scimitar. If anywhere was a place to train, out here near the Crystal Fissure in the Great Maw was the perfect spot... just as long as she wasn't in Sephiroth's territory, as it were. Though, he liked hanging out further out... much further out than where she was training. Ikari was just being careful because of what Leon had told her.
"Heh... anymore of you foul bastards ready to come out and play?" Ikari said, panting after she had said the sentence. tossing her head and getting stray locks of black hair out of her eyes, Ikari looked around as soon as she was certain that the Heartless that lurked around were done coming after her.
"Guess it's time to head back ho--?" Ikari said to herself, starting to turn back towards the Garden before something... or rather someone caught her attention. This person's attire wasn't one that was normally worn by people. Well, if you thought about it, how many people really ran around in armor? Think of how much heat wearing something like that would generate after venturing out in the sun for a long time.
Turning back to face this person, Ikari narrowed her eyes a bit and neared the face of the cliff of where he sat above. Perhaps she was acting against her better judgment, but curiosity definitely got the best of her at this point and time.
"Hey you!" Oh yes... a positively, great way to start off a conversation with a stranger.
((Sorry, I sometimes mess up on puncuation and grammer unnoticeably. I'll try to catch it when ever I can.
Oh yeah, I just thought it would be some good information to let every one know what exactly was going on with my guy when my RP started.
Ops, I just relised I put the 1 and 2 down. I'm used to spelling them out, wonder what made me do that?))
Quickly shifting his sights toward this voice, he relised he had already been spotted, but he kind of figured this would happen. He had to make a change in plans... for now.
Garland waved and temporarily shifted his aura flow with what holy magic he had, just to be on the safe side not knowing if this person was from the realm of light. He stood with strong posture but did not move from his fixed location. Although Garland stood to attention he did not reply.
Thinking to himself, "Perhaps I could use this person to safely look for allies, or perhaps this person could very well be an ally. I can't guess for now, but if I play my cards right, perhaps I can still achieve some information from this person."
Very nice post :3 there's not much that I see wrong with it at all. However, there's a few run-on sentences, but that's to be expected from anyone, methinks. ^^;; Also, I have a question for you; are you perchance from England or somewhere around there? I'm just noticing the way you're spelling 'realize', so I'm just looking at that before I get all American |3
I'm very familiar with cultural spelling differences, as there's: color/colour, neighbor/neighbour, realize/realise, etc. :3
Ikari arched her brows some and tilted her head as in a 'well, ya gonna say something?' type fashion. She wasn't really one for conversations... small talk-- scratch that, curt talk was more her style when dealing with people she'd never met before.
Sheathing Dragon's Flame, Ikari just looked up with an unamused look and then folded her arms over her chest. Someone was going to have to speak up sooner or later... it just wasn't going to be her.
((Ah, thanks for the notice. I don't live in England but I did move from there a few months ago. Yes I have noticed a difference in the spelling but a lot of people tell me it's okay because they understand it still.))
Garland looked around real quick before finally saying something. "Have you seen any one by the name of Kefka? If not, how about some one who goes by the name Golbez? These are my friends, you see, and I was seperated from them a few months ago. There are others, seven others. Perhaps you know where they are?" Garland seemed quite interested in this information and a little pushy about it too.
Ah, that's cool. I've actually always wanted to visit England.
*coughs* Anyhow ^^;;
Pertaining to the RP Instructing *puts her Instructor cap back on before it runs away again* Perhaps adding more to the paragraphs? I'm going to take a note out of Vel-Vel's handbook (imitation is the best form of flattery, Velum~ <3) and say, 'there's certain times where a good one-liner is all it takes' (or something along those lines).
If she were a dog, cat, or any other type of animal, her ears would be drooping at the moment. So this person was looking for friends of his as well? Heh, at least she no longer felt as if she were truly alone in the worlds.
"Sorry..." She started, looking back up and offering a sheepish grin, "I've never come across those names on my journey. However, I am looking for a friend, myself." She was telling the truth... maybe it didn't seem like it, considering she was out in the 'middle of nowhere' doing some training.
"But... if you live around here... perhaps we can help each other?" Ikari asked, raising her brow some in a convincing manner. The fire-girl traveled from world to world on a regular basis, only coming back to Radiant Garden to rest up or catch up with the residents that she had come to be close with.
((Sorry for short paragraphs. There are times, like you said, where you don't got much to say.))
Garland slightly tilted his head and glanced towards the sky. He quickly looked back at Ikari and jumped from the cliff side. He landed with a loud thud but seemed to recover quickly from the fall.
"I am afraid I don't live any where. I found refuge in a catacomb near by and I've been staying there. I wasn't sure there was a city or town."
Garland walked up to Ikari and then turned to his right and pointed into the distance.
"However, I feel a strong malevolent darkness being gathered to the south. It would not be safe to be out in the open at this time."
Looking good, there's nothing I see that needs improving or anything. Looks like you'll be out of here soon ^^
The ground vibrated as the large person had jumped and landed beside her. Ikari looked up to the man that towered over her. Should she have felt intimidated? Yeah, and she did... but there was no way that she was going to show it.
"Don't live anywhere, huh?" the fire-user questioned, looking up to the armored man. She did feel a little bad for him... but only a little. Technically, she didn't really live anywhere either. Radiant Garden? Sure, it was a place for her to take refuge when she needed a rest... but her true home was Twilight Town... and even then it didn't feel like she truly belonged there anymore.
"I'm not sure if the catacombs are exactly an ideal place, either." the girl stated, folding her arms across her chest and looking away, "I'm only taking a friend's advice on a man named Sephiroth that lives around here as well."
As Garland walked near Ikari, she looked up to him as he pointed over to the right and stated, ""However, I feel a strong malevolent darkness being gathered to the south. It would not be safe to be out in the open at this time."[/i]
A malevolent darkness, eh? Odd, she didn't feel it, though, there were people that were more sensitive to it than others. Besides, she had only picked up on sensing darkness only recently, there's no way to expect to sense darkness shortly after learning how.
"Perhaps for now we can help one another.", he said with a chuckle.
"As we both do not have a home, and we are missing our friends... maybe we can be partners until we find what we are looking for?"
He was trying to make her feel comfortable but suggesting friendship in their hour of need.
"Besides, the darkness on this world is slighyly firm--... I mean, quite odd.", he seemed to be covering something up or perhaps he wanted to relate it to some thing else but felt some thing new?
"But let us ignore that. Do you know of any towns or cities on this world? Perhaps it would be saffer there then out here in this open valley."
*whacks with a rolled up newspaper* No. >w< *always wanted to do that with someone...* >.> <.< >.< *abusive Instructor*
*coughs* Anyways, what I mean 'no' to is the fact that Garland somehow 'knows' the fact that my character is homeless (which actually isn't true ^^;; she's got an apartment, if you will, in the main part of Radiant Garden).
Also, the commas after the the dialogue... not needed. Though if there is a comma to be placed, it'd be within the quotation marks in place of the period instead.
"Perhaps for now we can help one another."
Nodding to this, Ikari gave a slight smirk of agreement. Though she wasn't too keen on helping anyone at first, perhaps her little trip to the Destiny Islands wasn't such a bad thing after all. She'd definitely changed over the past couple of months that she had been stuck there, that was for sure.
"Besides, the darkness on this world is slighyly firm--... I mean, quite odd."
Hearing the quick change, the girl's smirk faded and she gave a somewhat skeptical look. Well, whatever, maybe he didn't mean what he was about to say? Hmpf, not her problem, really.
"But let us ignore that. Do you know of any towns or cities on this world? Perhaps it would be safer there then out here in this open valley."
"I travel Worlds pretty frequently, actually. If I ever run across the names that you mentioned, I'll tell them that you were looking for them, Mister... uhhh...?" the fire user had responded, waiting for the man to fill in the blank for her. Even though they just met, they'd never exchanged names.
"I also know of the Nobodies and the Heartless that like to lurk around here. There's some in the main part of Radiant Garden, but not as many. Have to thank the Claymores for that," Ikari rubbed the back of her neck and then turned her gaze away from where Garland had pointed back to the direction of where she took residence.
"If you follow me, I'll take you to the main town part of this World," it was an offer, that was for sure.
((Don't forget that any one can think of some thing to say and it doesn't necessarily mean it's true.
Yeah... commas are my worst enemy.))
"You may call me Garland."
He didn't seem to not trust her, or just that he didn't find her a threat. Knowing Garland as the mysterious and out-of-nowhere kind of guy, who knows what he thinks.
"No... bodies?"
Garland had not heard of these creatures yet, and was quite disturbed about their existence.
"Thank you. Perhaps I may be able to find some information on any of my friends there. Perhaps find myself a ship of some sort to go to other worlds, as well."
Apologies for the wait, my muse hasn't really been all willing to cooperate with me ^^;; However, I think it's safe to let you out of the RP Academy now :3 If you wish to continue after my post or not is entirely up to you.
Garland... interesting name, that was for sure. Well, interesting to Ikari, there were many worlds out there and she was sure that if she were to visit any other worlds than the ones she had already been to, there would undoubtedly be people out there that thought she had an interesting name as well. However, people that were familiar with the language that her name was in and knew very well what meaning it had... ehhh... she couldn't blame them. Then again, it wasn't her real name in the first place.
"My name's Ikari," the raven-haired girl replied/ Was she going to offer her last name? No... that was going to be too much information given out to someone she didn't know. Plus, there was still the fact that she couldn't trust Garland entirely... after all, she had only just met him. To her, the full body armor was a little suspicious....
"No... bodies?"
Turning her attention back towards the Garden and starting forwards a bit, Ikari made her response and explained them a bit, "I'm not exactly sure where they come from, however, I do know that they're very much like Heartless.... Perhaps a little more sophisticated and more challenging to fight..."
"Thank you. Perhaps I may be able to find some information on any of my friends there. Perhaps find myself a ship of some sort to go to other worlds, as well."
"Ehh... don't mention it... seriously..." Ikari replied, waving her hand nonchalantly. She did mean what she said... she didn't really want to be seen as a kind girl that's willing to help anyone. In her eyes, it made her look submissive and weak. Ikari was not going to have that happen.
Sorry for not being on in like... forever. My computer was in maintenance. Thanks for letting me off the leash, although I hope I don't cause any trouble.
Yeah sure, I'll continue this for a little bit.
"Ikari, huh? What an interesting name."
Garland looked around and then looked back at Ikari.
"The sound in your voice tells me you are unsure of my placement? It is understandable though."
Garland started to chuckle and then as swift as the chuckle came, it went away to a dead silence brought on by a stare from Garland to Ikari.
"So... can a person also have a nobody while they have a heartless?" Garland seemed a little uneasy.
"I believe one of my friends became a heartless a few years ago, although his heart was restored. Does that mean he has a nobody too?" Garland still seemed a bit edgy about the whole nobody thing.
That was an interesting question... one that Ikari had never thought of. She knew about Sora and how he had turned into a Heartless once before... but nothing was said about him having a Nobody. She now had to wonder about that as she slowly made a response, "I... I don't know about that...."
This irked her, to say the least. Not knowing about that aspect of Heartless or Nobodies... were the two connected? It seemed plausible... but they're different in so many ways... and yet... somehow the same.
Sorry again for my delay... my muses have been rather stubborn as of late.