[Original] Oswald the Lucky Rabbit [A]

[Oswald]

ORIGINAL or CANON:
Original




Series of Origin:
Oswald the Lucky Rabbit Cartoons (Before Mickey Mouse)/Epic Mickey (Playable in a game)




What was the inspiration for them / do they embody a particular feeling or emotion?
Oswald is my personal favorite character, so I'm using him for this Roleplay. Plus he is a really "forgotten" Disney and I'd like to bring him back into the lime light he deserves.




Name:
Oswald the Lucky Rabbit




Nickname:
Oswald




Age:
(He doesn't have an official age, so I'll put what I think he is) 20 years




Gender:
Male




Species:
Rabbit (Lucky)




Being Type:
Somebody




Position: Neutral, Not part of any gang or group




Appearance:
A black anthropomorphic rabbit with a white face. He wears a blue pair of shorts, and has a small fluff of a tail (similar to a cotton ball but a bit stiffer). He has thin rabbit ears about the same size as his head and 4 fingers. Unlike most old cartoon characters, he doesn't have any gloves or shoes.





History:
Oswald is the ruler of the Wasteland, a world for forgotten characters. He was the original cartoon character created by Walt Disney, but was forgotten and replaced by Mickey Mouse, after which he then had an unrivaled hatred towards Mickey. Since then, living in the Wasteland with his wife Ortensia. An anthropomorphic cat with a pink skirt and a pink hat, her hat has a flower coming out of it. Like Oswald, she has no shoes or gloves on. The two spent their days together eating ice cream, walking along Mean Street, and going on various rides. Then a tragedy struck, in the form of the Thinner disaster, which caused Ortensia to be frozen as a stone statue, Oswald was devastated, he tried and tried again, but couldn't find a way to revert her state. So he slipped into hiding at Mickeyjunk Mountain, silently viewing Wasteland's progress.

A few years later, Mickey Mouse came into the world, at first Oswald loathed him. After they both fought together to save the world from the Blot, however, a shower of paint rained across the Wasteland. Which released Ortensia from stone. Afterwards Oswald felt like brothers with Mickey! Mickey then left as the world celebrated the victory. Until a year later when he returned again to defeat the Mad Doctor, as he was called by Ortensia who was worried about Oswald. It was at this point Oswald learned how to use his remote, his leg boomerang, and his ability to hover. Afterwards, Oswald, wanting to see new worlds, got his wish as Wasteland was being destroyed. So Mickey saved Oswald and took him to Twilight town, but he missed his wife Ortensia.




Current Primary Objective:
Find his wife, Ortensia.




Learning type:
Kinesthetic




Personality:
Oswald has a constantly annoyed, "I can do it better," attitude towards others including those he;s friends with. He tries to act tougher than he really is, when he's protected by a closed door, or a gap between him and the one he's taunting. When he relaxes and is friends with someone he has a more chipper and friendly attitude, but will make faces behind their back. He will do almost anything for Ortensia, and will hold on to any memory of her now that she's gone again.



Home World:
Wasteland, A world of forgotten characters, is fashioned by Oswald directly after Disneyland. With differences including Mickey replaced with Oswald in many locations. There are a lot of areas throughout the world, but there are 8 main areas.


Mean Street, the main street of Wasteland, it features several shops and businesses. Sadly after the defeat of the Blot it suffered terrible quakes and was split in half, at the end of Mean Street North, there is a statue of Walt Disney and Oswald holding hands. Big Bad Pete is the Sheriff of the world, his Jail (and house) are located at the end of Mean Street South.


There's also Ostown, a small suburban town where Ortensia and several other Wastelanders live, including Animatronic Goofy and Clarabelle the cow. Right outside Ostown, there is Mickeyjunk Mountain, a ginormous mountain. It is made up of thrown away Mickey memorabilia which included giant phones, puzzles, and movies. The top is where the Blot's bottle was kept.


Another area is the Gremlin Village. Gremlins are creatures that are the mechanics of the world, they manage rides, doors, Projectors, and they love to build. There home is filled to the brim with there machines and gears. Then there's Small Pete, a Pete dressed as a Dutch Small World doll. He lives in the small world attraction next to the Gremlin Village.

Then there are 4 "lands" which each hold many rides and features to bring hope to the sad toons. Tomorrow Land is a land of the future, with submarines, UFOs, and the Great Big Tomorrow Carousel, a rotating ride made to give toons hope about Wasteland. It is the home of Petetronic, a powerful Pete who once terrorized the area, but was befriended by Mickey. 


Adventureland is the land of pirates, forests, and fairies, you'll find a mechanized Captain Hook, and the flying Pete Pan, another of the four Petes around Wasteland, the caretaker, and arch nemesis of Captain Hook. These two will constantly be fighting around Skull Island on the Jolly Roger, Hook's ship.


Relaxing in Bog Easy is not an easy thing to do, do to the ghosts, it is the home of the Haunted Manor, the home to the four Ghost caretakers, Ian, Gilbert, Gabriel, and Screeching Sam. They all live in the Manor along with the living Pipe Organ.


In the very Center of Wasteland lies the Dark Beauty Castle, which once was home to it's caretakers, Oswald and Ortensia, but after the thinner disaster, Oswald left to become the silent ruler of Wasteland in Mickeyjunk Mountain, leaving the castle in disrepair and crumbling. The final battle with the Blot was held on the rooftops of this castle. Sadly it is not accessible through normal means, only a projector can be set up there now, as any other means are blocked off due to the quakes.


In the world there are four types of transportation, train, the D.E.C. (an underground sort of traveling), rides, and projectors (They are cartoons after all). Since it is fashioned after Disneyland, there are many rides, some used to cheer up Wastelanders, others used for power, and some used for transportation. Before Mickey showed up, a Thinner disaster happened which caused the Blot and it's blotling minions to show up and wreck havoc on the world, The Blot and it's blotlings are a mix of Thinner, basically Acid to toons, and Paint, A cheap, building usage that all toons are made of, the Blot wants to escape the Wasteland into other worlds to harm them. Oswald bottled it up, but then the bottle broke, so Oswald and Mickey together defeated it.




Natural Affinities/Abilities/Skills + Limits/Drawbacks:

Abilities:
A lightning stream from his remote.
Needs charge in his remote to use his lightning ability
Lightning can only go to about 3 feet in front of him

Can throw his leg like a Boomerang
Cannot move or use another attack when using Leg Boomerang

Can use ears as a Helicopter to hover.
Is relatively slow
Cannot attack while Hovering



Passive:

Heartborn Spark

Weapon:


A Remote
It is a rectangular, silver box, that has an antennae and one red button. It is not used as a physical weapon, but is used as a way to use electricity in a concentrated stream. It can hack into most computers and mechanical things, but needs charge to do so, it gathers charge, but at a slower rate then when used.


Role Playing Sample:


As Oswald was talking to Mickey about a way to defend the world from any further Blot attacks, a strange creature suddenly appeared, seemingly similar to the blot, Oswald assuming it was a Blotling. "See, this is what I'm talking about, they keep showing up." he said as he was pointing his remote at it. That was until a lot more started showing up and surrounding them, "Umm, Mickey?" as he looked towards Mickey his expression immediately changed from his usual happy one, to a more serious tone. Mickey then summoned his Keyblade. "Oswald run! I'll keep them away, you get of here and get to Ortensia!" he yelled as he started striking them down but more started showing up everywhere, flooding Mean Street. "Mickey there's nowhere to go! What are these things?" he said as he tried to destroy on with his boomerang leg. It just went right through, and he got hurt in the process, it felt like a searing pain shooting up his spine, he knew he had to run but, the pain was incredible. "Oswald take my hand." said Mickey reaching out to Oswald. Oswald wanting the immense pain to stop reached out towards Mickey. It's so sad, he thought, we finally saved Wasteland again.


Questions/Comments/Suggestions?

Welp hopefully I did this right, I am really bad at proof reading so I just did what "felt" right.

[Clio]

A cute little moogle has been revising your papers. Grabbing her lush feather pen, she glances up to you, ready to take notes. “Just a few questions for you,” her peppy voice muses. “The section on your passives needs a code attached. I believe what you’re looking for is: ...” She scribbles down what she's thinking about.


[img style="max-width:100%;" src="http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k175/onyx_embers/World%20Destiny/WDSkinGFX/Passives/Spark.png" alt="Your character's heart brims with Electricity based magic."]
[b][i]Heartborn Spark[/i][/b]


Once she loosely inscribes that suggestion for your overview, she then moves on. “It looks like this Wasteland is very big! Explain some more about what sort of place it is! We’ll need some more information about locations within this Wasteland. What was life like before the Ink Blot?” After considering what an interesting place the Wasteland might be, the moogle gets back on track.

“We would like to know more about Ortensia; she seems like a fascinating character! What was she like? And did Oswald have any friends or other family he knew in the Wasteland? How did they spend their days?”

She flips a few pages, finding a particular section. “For your particular setup, it may be easier for us to list the drawbacks next to their abilities. Maybe we could lump the sections together, so that the drawback is next to the ability it links with. This way for the less-obvious ones, it is easy to understand which drawback goes to which ability.”

The moogle’s bobble twitches as she looks back up at you. “My last note covers the Role-Playing sample. I would like to see a bit more in the way of what you see through the character’s eyes. What did it feel like? What was Oswald thinking in the moment? How did it feel when he got hurt by the Heartless?”

*A side note:
Different than the way books are written, here on World Destiny we find it easier to separate paragraphs with spaces. This way they are easier to read in sections. ^^ It’s not a ‘you did wrong’ as much as it is simply information to help.

[————Clio out of Character————]

1:
I see you were listening to the note about Disney and Final Fantasy characters not currently in the KH franchise as OCs. Thanks for being attentive!

2:
I also find it quite interesting that your character choice is Oswald. He will be a nice addition to the site!

3:
Normally we ask RPers to clear involvement with Canon Characters with the RPer of said Canon Character. Mickey Mouse is played by the Staff of World Destiny, and normally I would ask you to make a request to get it verified and all that, but doing research on Oswald and understanding his link with Mickey Mouse in the Epic Mickey games I am going to simply dismiss it as canon and not worry about it.

4: I believe Jin answered your question worlds in the Welcome Thread. 

Thank you for your interest in World Destiny! With these notes, if we see that the profile hasn’t been touched for two weeks we will have to move it. You may always keep working on it, you will just have to let us know via a written note here that you request more time to make the updates.

Additionally, let us know when the updates have been made, and we’ll get you all taken care of!

[Oswald]

Updated, I feel like I did a lot better with describing the actual world than Ortensia, but I'll see.

Edit: Described what Ortensia looks like, as well as I described the four "lands in greater detail, along with giving fourth caretakers of those lands.

[Bayde]

Clio's office has been eerily empty for the past few days. Eventually, while you're waiting patiently, a different moogle - one with heavy bags under his eyes indicating lack of sleep, dehydration, an other various health issues - opens the door and sits down at the desk.

Kuu...

Clio's going to be unavailable for a few days, so I guess it falls on me to step in.

The moogle's tired gaze suddenly sharpens as he meticulously scans over the papers left on Clio's desk. His pen flies across a piece of scratch paper as he makes notes.

Looking over a few things, I'm seeing problems that I feel need to be addressed.

You've got a bit of work to do with your comma use and overall syntax. I've highlighted a few areas that give examples of how improvements can be made. Try to find anything similar to these and make adjustments accordingly, kuu.

"He has thin Rabbit ears, about the same size as his head, and has 4 fingers."
The word rabbit isn't a proper noun, so it shouldn't be capitalized unless it starts a sentence.

"Since then living in the Wasteland with his wife Ortensia, an anthropomorphic cat with a pink skirt and a pink hat, her hat has a flower coming out of it, Like Oswald, she has no shoes or gloves on."
This one's a two-fer, kuu. You're missing a comma after your prepositional phrase (In this case, it's "since then..."). Also, your sentence runs on after the phrase "coming out of it," and should have a period there.

"Is the ruler of the Wasteland, a world for forgotten characters."
This is a fragment. You've left out the subject of the sentence (Oswald).

Your writing would benefit immensely if you broke up each section that was longer than a few sentences into multiple paragraphs. It improves readability.

Your personality section could use some fleshing out. Oswald's entire personality should be more than a sentence's worth of explanation, kuu.

You've got a solid first draft here, but you should go back over it and check for run-on sentences, missing commas, errant capitalization, and sentence fragments. When that's done, you should be all squared away for approval, kuu.

[Oswald]

Okay, I think it's done now, I also tabbed paragraphs, and fixed the things you mentioned. Hopefully I can join soon.

[Bayde]

Bayde takes back your paperwork with a quirked brow before scanning over the papers once more with his uncharacteristically sharp gaze. He pulls out his notes from before - they've been used as a makeshift coaster for a now empty cup of lemon tea that has slight but noticeable work on the bags beneath his eyes.

Kuu...I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding. When I handed you these papers back, I was expecting you to take your time looking for the problems I'd found based on the examples I gave. There's still a lot of work that needs to be done here, and it's going to take some patience to do. I can't give you all the answers or put red tape over everything that's wrong; your edits are supposed to showcase your ability to proofread and improve your writing, kuu.

After rummaging through Clio's drawers for a few seconds, Bayde hoists up a long-forgotten red pen. It looks like something he lent his compatriot some time ago and never bothered to get back. His eyes narrow as he takes hold of your file and begins making marks.

A black anthropomorphic rabbit, with a white face.
This is a good first example. Commas are meant to divide up clauses. While it looks like you're trying to use it for a list, it needs to be noted that two item lists do not need commas and that Oswald's white face is a descriptor for his self. It's not a separate entity, but part of the main subject. This comma should be removed, kuu.

He wears a blue pair of shorts, and has a small fluff of a tail (similar to a cotton ball, but a bit more stiffer)
The issue I talked about above is present here as well. Two item lists don't need commas. Also, "more stiffer" isn't correct. In this case, you should just use "stiffer."

He has thin rabbit ears, about the same size as his head, and has 4 fingers.
If you remove the second use of the word "has," then you can remove both commas and drastically increase the readability of this sentence, kuu.

He was the original cartoon character created by Walt Disney but was forgotten and replaced by Mickey Mouse.
The world "but" here is a conjunction used to combine two clauses - two different ideas - into one sentence. When you do this, you need to put a comma before the conjunction.

Since then' living in the Wasteland with his wife Ortensia, an anthropomorphic cat with a pink skirt and a pink hat, her hat has a flower coming out of it.
You seem to have put an apostrophe here instead of a comma, kuu. Also, the syntax here is a bit confused. You'd be better off dividing this into two sentences at the point where you start describing Ortensia and making sure you define a subject in the first of your two new sentences.

At this point, I need to reemphasize the importance of spacing out your paragraphs. Take everywhere you've put an indentation, remove that indentation, and add another full line of empty space like I've done in this response, kuu!

Right outside Ostown, there is Mickeyjunk Mountain, a ginormous mounntain that is made up of thrown away Mickey memorabilia which included giant phones, puzzles, and movies, the top is where the Blot's bottle was kept.
This is another run-on sentence that can be divided into two or three. You've also misspelled the word "mountain." While I'm wary of the word "ginormous," I'll accept that it's an adjective that fits the tone of the Epic Mickey franchise, kuu.

Out of Character

Your profile is going to need a good application of elbow grease. There's quite a few grammatical errors and syntax issues present that make it a bit of a chore to read through. You tend to use commas when you should be using periods or nothing at all. Beyond stylistic issues, you also don't seem to have a solid grasp of Oswald's character. The history section doesn't really tell a story as much as it just lists events without taking your character's emotions and reactions to them into account, and your personality section is still really sparse. Try to make it at least two full paragraphs of four or five sentences each. If you need ideas for what to write, feel free to check out how other approved profiles have handled their personality sections.

If you need help on something, feel free to PM Bayde's account. I'll be happy to offer more advice where need be. However, I'm just not comfortable accepting your app the way it is now.

Good luck!

[Oswald]

Hopefully I did it right this time...

[Bayde]

The small creature regards your paperwork once more. His tongue sticks out the side of his mouth as he scratches out a few areas on his notes, jots down a few new ones, and spins his reclaimed red pen in his hand while absorbing the edited content presented to him.

"Hm...This one is definitely better than the last you ran through here, but I'm still noticing a lot of errors that need to be corrected and some more you seem to have made while fixing things I pointed out before, kuu..."

The biggest problem I'm seeing by far is that you still don't seem to have the hang of paragraphs. Your world description is a big offender in this case. You've got a big block of text that could be read much more easily if you divided the info into more categories. The fact that you're using on run-on sentence to describe each section of the world is hurting you as well.

Try to make a new paragraph each time you move from one central idea to the next. If you're speaking about Tomorrow Land and want to finish that idea and move on to Adventure Land, you should probably make a new paragraph dedicated to it.

I'm also gonna take this chance to talk about your run-on sentences, kuu!

Tomorrow Land is a land of the future, with submarines, UFOs, and the Great Big Tomorrow Carousel, a rotating ride made to give toons hope about Wasteland, it is the home of Petetronic, a powerful Pete who once terrorized the area, but was befriended by Mickey.

Adventureland is the land of pirates, forests, and Fairies, you'll find a mechanized Captain Hook, and the flying Pete Pan, the caretaker, and arch nemesis of Captain Hook, these two will constantly be fighting around Skull Island on the Jolly Roger, Hook's ship.

Here are two examples that are especially long, kuu. You're not breaking up clauses into individual sentences, so your general description of Tomorrow Land bleeds into you speaking about Petetronic. Further, your overview of Adventure Land bleeds into your talk of Pete (I'm assuming you've misspelled Peter here) Pan. These are the sorts of areas that you need to break the sentence up in. However, you still need to use caution when doing this to avoid making a bad break.

Until a tragedy struck, in the form of the Thinner disaster, which caused Ortensia to be frozen as a stone statue, Oswald was devastated, he tried and tried again, but couldn't find a way to revert her state.

You start this sentence with "until," but the way you're using it here makes it sound like Oswald was devastated for some reason until Ortensia was frozen into a statue, kuu! I'm sure Oswald doesn't hate his wife, so you probably left that word there when you divided one long sentence up into two. Watch out for things like that.

I'll list a few more examples of run-on sentences from your profile so you know what sort of thing to look for.

Wasteland, A world of forgotten characters, Wasteland is fashioned by Oswald directly after Disneyland with Mickey replaced with Oswald in many locations.

Mean Street, the main street of Wasteland, it features several shops and businesses, sadly after the defeat of the Blot it suffered terrible quakes and was split in half, at the end of Mean Street North, there is a statue of Walt Disney and Oswald holding hands.

Then there are 4 "lands" which are Tomorrow Land, Adventure Land, Bog Easy, and Dark Beauty Castle, Each holds many rides and features to bring hope to the sad toons.

Small Pete, a Pete dressed as a Dutch Small World doll, he lives in the small world attraction next to the Gremlin Village.

You're doing good work, kuu. Just a few more adjustments and you'll be ready to start the fun part!

[Oswald]

I did not misspell Pete Pan

Also I am done editing again.

[Oswald]

Hello?

[Bayde]

The dark-eyed Moogle takes a deep and final sip of his tea. He fishes a small pocket watch out of his cloak and glances at it briefly before setting the cup down and returning the watch to its place in his robes.

"It looks like Clio's running a little late, kuu."

Bayde picks up your papers once again, lazily twirling his red pen in his hand as he ticks off areas in his notes.

"Hmm. Looks like you've come a long way. Your work is appreciated, and won't go unrecognized, kuu. So tell me: what is it you'd like to start your journey with?"