A short story on realism

[gorrad]

There was nothing quite like the sound of a shovel sticking into a pile of week-old manure for Luke. Nor the smell or the feel. The slight tremor down the shaft of the tool as it slid through the dung, the muffled clang when it hit a particularly toughened area, the new odor that would emerge with each shovel full, the strain of the upper arms as it was thrown onto the trailer to be sent to the fields. Every moment made one experience a whole new species of sensations. It would take years for one to know the multitude of beauties stuck in this one pile of feces.

Unfortunately, Luke had been working here for years. He had experienced all of the ‘beautiful’ bullshit his father had fed him, and there was nothing he wanted more than to get away from it all and never have to lift another piece of dung for as long as he lived. He lifted another piece. He was strong for his age. Working the six years since he had become a man at the age of eleven would do that. There weren’t many people he knew who could work faster or harder than him. That’s why his father wouldn’t let him leave. Go to the city, go to the town, go anywhere but this very spot. Shoveling away the life he knew was meant for more.

The pile was finished. A few more hours of youth whittled away. He had been working for a week for this moment- the one time that he could honestly say that enough of his work was done that he could go into town and enjoy himself. He checked in with the overseer, his grandfather who was too old to work, and jogged down the road. The less time spent walking, the better. For the last few weeks he had been training with Juan, the Spanish swordsman-turned-town guard, learning to be a knight. Now that the crop season’s end was less than a week away, he had to finish his apprenticeship as soon as he could. He was already reaching the end of what Juan had to teach, and when the work in the fields was done, he was going to escape. Go to the city. Never again lift a shovel, only a sword, under the banner of the king!

He could tell from miles away that something was wrong. Smoke filled the air above the always-quiet burg. Luke doubled his speed, making it there in half an hour. The guardhouse was burned. Only Juan’s skeleton and sword remained amongst the ashes. Holding his master’s blade, Luke felt an immense sadness. Whoever did this would pay.

The town square was the scene of a crowd. Women and children were lined against a wall, and a red-faced man with blond hair and a beard was smirking at them. Ray D’Fleur, a notorious general from the nearby country of Bal-jum. Luke had heard his name used as curses from the time he was a lad. He raised his sword and locked eyes with the murderer. The general’s men inexplicably stepped away, leaving the two locked in a battle of wills. Whoever moved first would be slain by the other.

Pain rocked through Luke’s body. The arrow protruding from his heart, shot by one of the general’s archers, was died red at the shaft. His last sight before the veil of death closed his eyes forever was the look of contempt as D’Fleur turned back to his captives.

Fin

So when your original character is Luke, or one such as he, keep in mind. Men are mortal. Sometimes all it takes is an arrow to the chest. It doesn't matter if the character is the most original, unique, amazing concept ever. They bleed all the same. And gods, people, make your character over 25! If they're a kid, I don't care who they are, they do not have the experience for the battlefield without damn good reason. Maybe I'm just being a cynic, but the story above is one I have always wanted to write. Please, you don't have to enjoy it, but learn the lesson it gives.

-G

[Aryn007]

Poor Luke. His time had only just begun!

Now, can we read more about General D'Fleur?

[Charme]

Lol. Ooh, I have a question. My dude looks like a teen, but he's been imprisoned at the same age for quite a while. Does that count as still being young?

[sephiroth]

Regardless of having a teen as well -- now, the FF games do somewhat break the borders on this, I will admit, as does KH. However, it begins to make me wonder what happened to all the adults. Teens traveling should be rarer than this...

[yuffie]

... *couldn't help but think of Professor Layton when reading it*

Look Luke, another puzzle!

What's sad about you being so young and having to deal with all the drama in your life? Oh... and you can't solve this one with matches.
--
"Men are mortal."

*looks at Hilary Clinton* Gods, let's hope the same goes for women.

[Aryn007]

Men are mortal, but many young people haven't discovered it yet. We are convinced we are invincible, with little thought for the actual dangers, daring to skateboard off concrete walls, volunteering for wars (history does show that it's the teenagers who do the most volunteering for our armies even with age limits...those darn 15 year olds keep slipping in there!), assuming the money will always be there, and that no matter how many times we get hit with a baseball, the wound will heal quickly.

It isn't so surprising that so many wanderers in stories and such are children too. After all, they haven't learned to look beyond the next moment. So...when children write about children wandering around, it's a reflection of a fantasy...and while realism is super (don't get me wrong, I think realism is essential), fantasy is equally an important part of who we are. The hero does not get killed by the first arrow that strikes. The bad guy is not triumphant. And the stakes are always enormous.

It all depends on what we're going for here. Obviously, rping is not the same as writing a story. Rping involves paying attention to the given circumstances and reacting accordingly, thus if the character is young and untried and gets hit with an arrow, yes, he does die...unless some magical force with the bigger picture in mind (DMs for the boards plz!) revives him.

I'm still agreeing with you, Gorrad...

[shinjihirako]

One of the main reasons sora is still a teenager is that the four games (and soon to be 6) are all rated E+10 and children and teenagers don't find the idea of playing as an adult as appealing as playing as a teenager, so we then base our characters on what we'd like to be and the age that the hero was at.

Along with that they show the adults (primarily Org. 13) as the evil characters and so many people want to be the good guy that they put him as a younger person. Yes there are evil characters who are young but there aren't as many of them as young good characters. Another reason we have so many young characters is because most people like to be human or know that humans would die and age sooner or later while as far as we know Nobodies and Heartless don't age. And my final reason why i believe we prefer going for a young age is that even if someone realizes or thinks that heartless and nobodies don't age we may end up no longer having human-like heartless or nobodies lest they belong to the Dark XII or have special permission. There's nothing you can do about it Tifa, you can teach a lesson but that doesn't mean the students will listen

[gorrad]

...Right. That would explain why people hate Final Fantasies Six, Seven, and Eight. They were obviously no good at all due to the protagonists being adults.

[shinjihirako]

I'm not going against what your saying, you're right there's not enough adult characters and I said in the general story of Kingdom Hearts that the evil characters are mainly made up of adults. And the people who if you never played a Kingdom hearts or final fantasy game you'd know about, they don't give you much info on cloud and you'd feel like you know the nobody's better from that. And by the way i love final fantasy games, haven't played 8 and wanting so badly to play 6. 7 and 9 would have to be my favorites alongside Tactics and Tactics Advance. And it seems i've been smited, wonder if that was you or Role.