Trixie (Atrix) Nekosama WIP

[Ellie who has 0%]

I know you found our profile outline, but did you read it? If you did you would be aware that we have word amount requirements for particular portions. I advice you to go back to it and fix up your profile.

As an early Christmas present, I'm dubbing this profile as a WIP. (I generally reject incomplete profiles on sight mind you.)

Also for more present goodness, an early critique.

1.) If you're going to make up your own specie atleast give us more information on what they like and etc versus tossing an overused anime concept of kitty chicks.

Actually there's a Final Fantasy race called Mi'qote. I advice to give your specie details like any other specie to make them real and more than something that's just 'cool'.

2.) She have a power of a witch right?
What powers? What can she do? How can she do it? How many times can she do it before being fatigue?

She's skilled in weapons. What weapons? And you knoow a chainsaw...is not really a weapon right. Also omit the info about Grell. As an Original Character, we really don't want to look to other characters...just to understand yours. Also be...realistic where is a kitty chick gonna learn the 'arts of chainsaw'.

3.) You'll need MORE words for your appearances, and you need to not compare her to other characters. So do NOT MAKE ANY REFERENCE TO OTHER CHARACTERS OF ANY EXISTING MEDIA. Take the time to describe her outfit and her.

How short or tall is she? What's the color of her eyes? Does she looks like her age? What does she normally wears?

4.) Personality definately needs to be broaden. She have a large attitude. What attitude? How does she have a large attitude? Is it a bitchy attidue, it is a uppidy hyper pooping rainbows and sunshine attitude? Is it an emo, downer, seclusive attitude? Is it a bundle of energy attitude? ...Also I did not know she had large breasts...you know stuff like that goes into appearances.

Think of it this way. No one but you can read your mind with how you see this character, so you need to stop being vague and be detailed for we can see her how you see her.

5.) She needs to have an original world whether she knows it or not.
Current Residing World: This will only be 'varies' if she can travel from world to world...thus far she can't so pick a world.

- For history you need to make up where she came from. Where she was born and chart important occurances in her life by age perferably. Also I always advice to relate her on-goings by the KH timeline.

Where was she during KH: BBS, KH:1 , KH:2?

Overall you really really need to rethink this history out. It's vague, unstable, lack of continuity, and have contradictions. I advice to REALLLY read our profile outline. There's questions that can help guide you in the right direction.

Anywho that is all from me. I'm Ellie, and welcome to KH:WD. Happy charrie development! You have 7 days!

[Shun]

Moving this to Rejected since o3o the original post is missing XD if you wish to reapply with the same character, repost.