Jerrik Miam [Done]

[Zephiris]

Please read over our character creation guidelines. Jerrik is far too overpowered, and his history far too deviant from KH canon, for me to be able to accept this.

How on earth did he get to The World That Never Was? A broken child wouldn't survive in the darkness and Nobody-infested Realm Between for an hour. And this is a Kingdom Hearts roleplay. Violent, bloody gang wars in Traverse Town?

Speaking hypothetically, what did you have in mind for this character? I see no growth, just a dark, killing machine. All he'd be would be an instrument of evil for others; you speak of no goals, no reason for his existence. You've left no seed for a change for better or for worse.

Final words: take a bit to look over your character. Decide what you can keep or change to have someone with depth, weaknesses, and who you can derive a story from by roleplaying on World Destiny. The technical factors need to be done over as well. (There's an entire section on powers and weaknesses on the OC sheet page.)

You have 7 days to edit, start anew, whatever you deem fit.

[whybeok88]

Figured it was too violent, thought several times bout deleting it but figured I'd wait. Not remaking him, doing something else.

[Zephiris]

Very well.