Tun Jefireso [A]

[Deleted]

Name: Tun Jefiriso

Nickname: Freedoms Prisoner

Theme: Still Alive from Mirrors Edge:

Age: 14

Gender: Male

Species: Human

Position: Neutral, But still chooses the nice path.


Powers/Abilities/Techniques/Skills: Tun is a master at free running (Parkour) due to years of Hard Training. This allows him to perform moves like wall jumps and more complex moves (Use Flow-motion from Dream Drop Distance as a reference if you wish). It does take energy and will make combat more difficult. Tun finds magic very ineffective and would take the more aggressive path.

Spiral Jump: While Tun doesn't like magic, he does enjoy close quarters combat. Spiral Jump is his best maneuver for this. By jumping onto a wall or something that is perpendicular to the ground, He can perform a jump while spiraling to put an extra bit of hurt into his attack. This attack deals major damage, but leaves Tun stunned and open to attacks.

Knife Grab: Sometimes Tun will get VERY aggressive. When this happens, expect him to stab with his knife into foes so that it will dig in. He will then proceed to lift the opponent up using his knife and deal a quick punch to knock them off. It will cause a small amount of bleeding damage (2 posts), while making Tuns knife a little less aerodynamic and weaker for the rest of the fight. The Attack has a charge-up (1 post) before it can actually be performed, giving enemies time to react.

Weapon/Items: Tun carries a knife to perform quick, easy maneuvers to stun foes to give him an escape route.

Appearance: Tun stands out with bruises across his legs and arms that appear to be from malicious beatings. There also appears to be some scrapes here and there, along with a recent black eye. His outfit consists of a white t-shirt, blue shorts, a red bandanna with a yellow star on each side of it to add accents, and white shoes with blue detailing, forming a blur like look to his movements. Tuns eyes are a rich golden brown color, while his hair is a vibrant and beautiful red. He weighs 126.3 pounds and is 4 foot 9 inches tall.


Personality: Tun desires nothing more than freedom from his past, which seems to haunt him nonstop and tortures him. The fears of his past "mistakes" creates a natural sociopath nature, making Tun a person who truly isn't evil or mean, but comes off that way. This nature he has been formed in is what truly fears him, as well as enraging him. Anyone who mentions his past tauntingly is prone to Tun getting extremely angry and aggressive. Tun does enjoy the fact his past has given him a natural endurance to pain and the ability to perform free running/Parkour moves to progress through narrow and dangerous areas. Tun past has placed him in an interesting area in groups. Being kept away from people for so long has made him difficult to talk to, though he will make attempts to be friendly and helpful. Dangerous situations can be very entertaining for him due to his mature of making dangerous situations "Parkour courses" through either timing things with amazing precision, or pure speed running. Overall, Tun has a past that seems to forever haunt him, but makes attempts to overcome it through danger and getting pat his sociopath nature, making him a hard to truly understand but likable character


Original World: The far outskirts of Traverse Town, away from people and freedom.

Current World: Radiant Garden


History:
Tun was born away from Terra, Aqua or Ventus' whereabouts, and was raised by loving parents. At least, for the first two months of his life. Tuns uncle, Sidais Jefiriso, was a con artist and a criminal, and made a plan to use Tun to get rich through making Tun amazing in every way possible, even if he tortured the child. A night that was dark and felt desolate was when Sidais put his plot into action. He crept quietly into the household of Tun and kidnapped him without leaving a single hint he was there. The next morning was followed by panic, with Sidais now far away from anyone, now beginning to raise Tun like his own child for the next 3 years. Tun didn't even realize the change of location.

For the first three years, Sidais raised the growing child to be strong and athletic, mentally AND physically.

Then, the true phase of the plan began. He quickly began teaching Tun many different skills and pieces of Knowledge, to make Tun the perfect child. Almost none of it made sense to Tun, flowing through his head. Except Parkour. Through the Hiring of Professionals, Sidais showed Tun the skill of Parkour, and Tun quickly learned all there was to it. He was able to perform almost every move possible in a set of 8 months, now reaching the age of 5. Sidais ordered Tun to let Parkour go for now until he can truly learn what everything else he had been taught is. Every day, Tun studied all he was taught, and every night he dreamed off Parkour for 4 years. Upon reaching the age of 9, Tun had learned everything he could, and was allowed to practice his Parkour.

However, after a moment that brought Tun dangerously close to Civilization and realization, Sidais became a man of darkness. He began keeping Tun inside, never allowing him the practice he needed to keep his free running skills up to tip-top shape. Every few nights, Tun would sneak out and try Parkour out more, to keep his favorite thing kept in mind. Years passed, and soon Tun was caught. He was beaten with sudden strength and discipline, and this ended up being Sidais folly. Tun ran in a burst of upset and confusion. He ran off until he reached Traverse Town’s outskirts. Then, a strange dark portal, that felt out of place, appeared before him. He collapsed of exhaustion at the very spot he stood, and the portal sucked him up. When He woke up, he found himself within Radiant Garden. How he got there, Tun doesn't know, but He feels as if he has been freed of the shackles of his uncles’ torturous ways. He was finally free! But it felt like he was missing something. He felt like he didn't have...heart.

Role Playing Sample:

"Where...am I?" Tun said questioningly, looking around the place he was in. It seemed very bright, yet kept him away from learning at the same time. Taking short steps to the left, Tun found himself jumping behind a wall as two young females walked by. Tun had never met a woman, or couldn't remember meeting one. What were they like? Tun felt strange by them, like they were a completely different species.

Tun walked out, once the two girls were away. He looked towards the right, and felt like heading there. Perhaps he will find an idea of where he is. Soon, He reached a cliff, Tun feeling very intrigued by the area. The sound of someone else gurgled. Tun turned around to see a heartless. What in god’s name is that thing? Without thinking, Tun dashes away from it. Through taking a quick glance, Tun ends up falling over something. A look reveals a knife stabbed into the ground. How it got there is a mystery to Tun, but he knew it was his only chance to not be harmed by this thing. He grabbed it and quickly lunged at the creature. The creature seemed to melt seconds before it would be stabbed. At first, Tun felt like he scared it off, but a second look revealed it had moved around him. Quickly, Tun slashed down right when the Shadow came out of its invincible state. The sound of it squealing was the perfect accompaniment to Tuns victory. Tun realized he is able to fight off this creature and others like it, now that he had a weapon. Victory was Tuns. The sound of louder gurgling revealed several Shadows. Perhaps victory wasn't so close at hand.

Tun lunged at the nearest one, striking it through the arm. A quick turn gave Tun enough awareness to block another ones flurry of claw strikes. Tun then performed a pole vault over one, now grinning. Was this fight giving Tun a sense of Joy? Yes, it was. Tun began obliterating the shadows, casting them off away.

"And good riddance," Tun smiled. He turned towards the cliff pro ceding to sit down on the edge. Wherever he was now, it felt like a home and war zone. Just...perfect.

[Zephiris]

What is CQC?

Now remember, when doing a move like Knife Grab, you have to give the other member a chance to respond before carrying out the entire thing. Just keep that in mind, it checks out otherwise.

You are under our word count in the History, the most important part. Please fix this.

Also, please go over everything and fix grammar, spelling, capitalization/punctuation mistakes, ect. You have quite a few, and also stop mid-sentence multiple times.

I suggest changing your Original World from Twilight to a place that fits your history better. There are no Households of Tun, ect. in Twilight, and a very low crime rate that befits such a peaceful world. The History itself as you written is a bit. . . confusing. Please try to keep your summary of his background as specific and to the point as you can, so a reader can make sense of it.

Let's fix this basic things first before moving on. You have four days to edit.

[Deleted]

Edited a Bit. Hope I got the History cleared up a bit.

[Zephiris]

I'm still a bit iffy with the History, simply because it seems rather. . . un-KH-like, but I think I can let it go for now. The last part, about just falling asleep and arriving in Radiant Garden, is also a bit odd to me. If you can find any smoother way to do that transition, do; if not, it's not too big of a deal, and I can also let that be.

RP Sample: Just remember RPs are conducted with double spaces between paragraphs.

Tuns eyes are a rich golden brown color, while his hair is a vibrant and beautiful red. He weighs 126.3 pounds and is 4 foot 9 inches tall. with his

A few odd sentence things like this are still abundant in here, like not including end punctuation. Just giving you a heads up should you want your profile to be sleek and polished when submitted as a Final Profile.

Otherwise, all looks fine. Lemme know when you're ready and I can accept.

[Deleted]

I like to alter my word choice so It doesn't feel to repetetive. and I'll fix those little errors.


*EDIT*

Completed.

[Zephiris]

All good. Just remember that he does still, in fact, have a Heart. xD

Accepted. Now you may repost this as a Final Profile, put that link in your sig, and begin to play!