[Canon] Isa [A]

[Deleted]

ORIGINAL or CANON: Canon


Series of Origin: Kingdom Hearts


What inspired you to choose this character? Do they embody a particular feeling or emotion?. Isa represents redemption. He represents confidence and its flaws. In my eyes, his final words to the sky redeemed him from being another tool of the Organization because he had a clear goal in mind from the very beginning: he wanted his heart back. He was overconfident in his initial friendship with Lea, he was overconfident when he took on Sora, and he was overconfident in thinking he could trust and play Xemnas. Jealousy weaseled itself into his actions when he realized Axel and he weren't seeing eye to eye anymore, and it lead him to forsake his previous plans just to go after Kingdom Hearts alone. If anything, throughout rp, I want Isa to learn a bit of humility and to soften his exterior. I want him to give meaning to his second chance at a heart.


Name: Isa


Nickname: Saïx - Organization XIII
The Luna Diviner - Organization XIII


Age: 29


Gender: Male


Species: Human


Being Type: Somebody


Position: Neutral


Appearance: Isa is most notable for the X-shaped scar between his eyes. He has chiseled angular features, his nose sharp and his lips thin. His turquoise eyes wear an expression of boredom whenever he looks upon an individual he doesn't truly care for. With a resting face of indignation, it's no surprise that his body language is normally standoffish. Standing at 5'11", he isn't the tallest person, but his air of confidence makes up for a few lost inches. Well-built, the years spent with the Organization shaped his slim form into an athletic powerhouse, his acquired muscle complimenting his new style of battle. Wielding a large Claymore into battle takes a lot of strength. In an effort to return to his childhood roots, Isa slicks his long, unkempt, blue hair back, leaving the ends spiked up. A few loose strands fall on either side of his pointed ears, the remaining tresses falling in a sheet of hair to the mid-point of his back. On occasion, he'll tie it up into a messy bun to keep it out of his eyes. On the lobe of each ear is a single stud.

When in a Berserk state, Isa's appearance differs slightly. His mannerisms become more beast-like to reflect the sudden power overflowing through him. His scar, like a curse mark, grows large and more jagged, his eyes taking on a glowing gold akin to a Werewolf under the light of the full moon. When in a rage, his hair sweeps out like a blue mane.

Isa keeps his Organization coat for whenever the darkness calls him back into its shadowy embrace. Upon retrieving his heart, he's returned to a casual style of dress to blend in with the other citizens stuck in Twilight Town. A blue v-neck shirt and black wool zip-up jacket adorn his torso. The jacket has a grey stripe down each arm, its sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Fitted black pants offer a stylish flare to his slim legs. Isa still wears the black, leather boots given to him during his time in Organization XIII. They were the only shoes he could find at the time. Emblazoned on the breast pocket of his jacket is a yellow full moon, symbolizing his complete form of Nobody and somebody.


History: A regular life. That was all Isa could remember of his youth. His father had a good job at the castle, and his mother lived comfortably while raising their only son, Isa. Their home was in a nicer part of the Boroughs, hidden behind gates. The boy received nothing but doting approval from his mother, her kind words and praises a stark contrast to his father's strict mentality. Instilled into him from a young age, Isa learned that, to be the best, he had to put his all into his work. To earn his father's praise, the young boy took to learning and mastering as much as he could.

By the time he had entered primary school, Isa earned the rare title of child prodigy. The young boy did not understand just what the honor meant at the time, but his teachers referred to it constantly. He only sought his father's acknowledgement, the teacher's praises falling on deaf ears whenever he could manage it. He didn't care about titles unless it netted his father's approval. He was a logical thinker, all his time spent cooped up in his home studying his father's work books. Ahead of his peers in math and literature–thanks to his advanced comprehension of the subjects taught–the title did little to improve his relations with the other students. His desk felt like a lone island in the middle of class, his peers whispering up a dangerous ocean of conspiracy and rumor. At times, the ocean would flood his island with a tidal wave of indignation, Isa doing his best to focus on his goals. The young boy was just following his father's orders. Isa had no time for anyone 'lesser' than him, so he made few friends. People would only get in the way of his desires, or distract him from reaching long-term goals, so he never bothered to get close to anyone.

But things change as time passes. In an effort to achieve what his father expected of him, Isa refused to keep anyone close to him. Not that it was hard: so few people measured up to his prowess. Those that knew him avoided him, his maturity for his young age a put-off for the other primary school children. And those who put forth the effort to become his friend received no kindness in return, their hellos and idle chatter fading into white noise while Isa studied. Eventually Isa realized he was completely alone, his mother the only one in his life to offer him a hug and kind words.

One day, while reading beneath the shade of one of the trees in Radiant Garden, Isa looked up to watch the children playing on the playground before him. Their laughter carried up into the air, blending in with the chorus of birdsong in the leafy canopy above where the young boy lay. Those kids were nothing like him, their interest in sword fighting far inferior to the knowledge found in the tomes his mother would sneak him from the Castle's Library. Still, the kids found pleasure in each other's company, a memory the young boy could only wish he knew well. When one of the boys from the match before him walked up, Isa lost track of his thoughts. With the most ridiculous grin on his face, the boy offered Isa an ice cream in his extended hand. Remembering his manners, Isa accepted it with a nod, and the boy sat next to him. They shared their names, the boy, Lea, taking a seat next to him. Silence followed as the two completed their frozen confections. A brief conversation followed, Lea's observations startlingly astute about the blue-haired boy who he went to school with, the one who was at the top of his class but always kept his head down at lunch. Surprised, Isa attempted to interject, but before he could, the red-haired boy stood up, offered him another goofy grin, and left. Upon returning to the same spot the next day, the two met up once more—this time Isa bought the ice cream—and slowly their friendship blossomed.

The two were nearly inseparable from that point off. Isa's mother was especially excited to find her son had made his first real friend. Complete opposites, it was a surprise to see the quiet class head hanging around with the popular class clown. But it was Lea who humanized Isa, his tolerance for people rising as the two entered high school. Thanks to his friend, Isa learned how to have... fun. His flame-haired friend could take his sarcastic humor and return it in kind. But their friendship was not without trials.

Since Lea was his first real friend, Isa became prone to jealous thoughts whenever Lea expressed interest in hanging out with other people. He hid his annoyance well enough beneath a cool, aloof exterior, but, in the back of his heart, he could always feel the dark twinge of jealousy pulling at at its strings. On one particular day in his midteens, Isa watched from the sidelines as Lea took interest in a complete stranger in the square. Ventus, his name was. Isa would always remember that day well. It was the first crack in his and Lea's friendship, though he didn't realize it at the time. They both needed to head to the castle, something too important for words pulling them towards the building that day. An air of displeasure arose around Isa when Lea got into a fight with the kid. It was completely unnecessary, the act cuting too deep into the allotted time Isa had established for the both of them. Rather than voice his disapproval, he hid his feelings behind a small smile while the two duked it out. There was no contest, Isa watching half-heartedly as Lea lost momentum and tired out. When Lea lost (of course he'd lose with that technique of his) Isa did not hold back. He played off his quips innocently enough, the bite reduced by his crossed arms and cool smile. That Ventus kid was good; there was no doubt about that.

After the fight, the two looked up to the castle looming in the distance, nodding. Whatever was ahead of them, they were ready... for the guards to kick them out. Carried out by the scruffs of their necks, Isa did little to fight the person holding him, his body thrown to the ground outside the castle. Their mission to discover the secrets of the castle had failed. At the end of the day, Lea bought them both sea salt ice cream, Isa thankful for the treat. His thoughts drifted elsewhere as he stared up at the wide expanse of sky, wondering about his future.

Memories had a way of fading out over the long years of his Nobody's life. Upon his creation, Saïx could not remember how he lost his heart. But his strong will proved him well, another chance at life granted to the shell once named Isa. Inducted into the Organization XIII as Number VII, Saïx remained close to Lea—now Axel—holding on to the memories the two shared of being best friends. With his quick wit and enhanced logic, he easily earned Xemnas' trust, taking on higher positions in the Organization while Axel did the dirty work. At that point, Xemnas "branded" him, scarring his face and altering his eyes to a gleaming amber.

For much of the Organization's life, Saïx gave orders to everyone, assigning them missions. He met with Axel whenever he could, the two always confirming their true goals while hiding away from prying eyes. He first learned of Axel's budding relationship with Roxas during one such meeting. It was after assigning his friend to watch over the new member during one of Xemnas' experiments. He did not see the appeal of the Xion plan, but followed along anyway, his trust in Axel waning as the fiery-haired male grew closer to the "puppet"and Roxas. After the Castle Oblivion incident, Saïx confronted Axel, asking him where his loyalties stood. When he wasn't given the correct answer, Saïx distanced himself further from Axel, dismissing their previous plans to rule the Organization. How could he trust someone who lost sight of their goals for a paltry life of eating ice cream?

Like a good lapdog, Saïx followed Xemnas' orders faithfully. Whenever possible, he would confuse and toy with the key wielder, Sora, pushing him further into the web of fears and lies so that he would follow the Organization's plans without realizing it. He did his best to keep sight of his goal of retrieving his heart from Kingdom Hearts so that he could be whole again. He wouldn't admit it, but he never forgot Axel's friendship. He intended on dragging the male with him to retrieve his own heart once the time came. They were so close to Xemnas' twisted vision, the moon in the sky growing stronger and stronger, empowering his skills and strengthening his memories of emotion.

His confidence grew as well. With a smirk, he dodged Riku, taunted Sora, and guilted Kairi. When Xemnas granted him approval to kill Sora, Saïx accepted it with a smile. That boy's face reminded him too much of Roxas, the kid whose face he’d never forget.

At the climax in the Castle That Never Was, Saïx fought Sora with the power of the moon. He fought with a fury and avengeance he rarely let anyone else see. But Sora and his friends were too strong for him. Fatally wounded, with nothing but his memories of lost friendship, Saïx limped away from his enemies, cursing his fate. Looking up to the moon, he pleaded to it one last time before fading into darkness.

"Kingdom Hearts... Where is my Heart?"

... Waking up in the Castle basement, Isa did not know how to take his third chance at life. Looking in the reflection of an offline monitor, he found his eyes to have reverted back to their original turquoise hue. His X-shaped scar and black cloak remained as the only reminders of his time in Organization XIII. Before Axel—Lea—could find him, he escaped into Radiant Garden. He would not face him while his regained heart remained in a headlock.

Isa went into hiding, his quest for solitude leading him to a place he never thought he would see again: Twilight Town. In the oncoming darkness, he kept a low profile, the male doing his best to return to a menial existence after a decade with the Organization. He never knew about his heartless; the information never returned to him after he became whole. Realizing the encroaching Dark Reach's power, the male stood alone in the realm of Light. Standing at a crossroads in his second chance at life, he is at a loss for how to confront his future.


Current Primary Objective: Come to terms with his past in the Organization XIII and come to terms with Lea's "betrayal". With his heart back, he realizes just how much emotion ruled over his actions before he became a Nobody. It's through his past actions that he hopes to achieve a future for himself, one where he is in control of his life.


Learning type: Visual Learner. Reading books was his hobby as a child, and he put it to good use to be the best. His strength comes in his keen eye for details. Initially lacking the strength for battle, the male made up for it with his ability to deconstruct an action into its basic visual concepts. Like a flipbook, he could memorize many things in a short amount of time. As for battle, Isa learned through trial and error, his fighting style shaped by rage rather than intelligence. Using the surroundings to his advantage, the berserker could back an opponent into a corner with a wild fury of attacks. Always a teacher's pet, Isa's organizational skills and quick wit netted him the tools he would need to be a high ranking member of Organization XIII.


Personality: Even with a heart, Isa is as cold and calculated as his Nobody. From a young age, his father influenced his way of thinking, the young boy preferring logic and reason over emotional attachment. As an adult, Isa retains that same mentality, his mind always put before his heart during most affairs. He is aware of the emptiness within himself, and, even though he can feel the heartbeat within himself, he questions what it truly means to be whole.

With such a rational state of mind, Isa will put a lot of faith into those he absolutely trusts, a flaw in his otherwise logical cognizance. Trust is difficult to build up for him, and when people do work their way into his heart, he holds them close, almost to a terrifying degree. His obsession mirrors his mother's unquestioning loyalty to her son and husband. Whenever he'd arrive home from school, between play and study he'd watch her, curious to know just how she ticked. He never realized in his young age just how unstable her affection was, her love borderline obsessive. The two greatest pillars in Isa's life provided a flawed foundation to his outlook on life, something the male mulls over whenever the darkness creeps into his consciousness.

Perhaps he grew up emotionally stinted, Isa cannot say for sure. Only through his friendship with Lea did he realize what it felt like for someone to have his back. And he returned the favor, if only in his own way. Isa was never a comedian, his flat voice only made for dry, observational humor. But Lea laughed at his quips and snide remarks, the feeling warming his icy heart and lowering his stony exterior. Through friendship, the male realized the joys life offered. And he also learned of the darkness because of it.

Jealousy, never to a true point of obsession like his mother, but there nonetheless, Isa did not like for his closest friend to wander. He could play off the annoyance he felt easily enough, his aloof nature granting any audience whatever show of emotion they saw on his face at the time. Through that, he'd forgive and forget, his goals and plans placed higher on his list of important tasks to take care of. Isa could take any punch thrown at him, and he refused to ever flinch.

But failure and anger build up. With no way to release his pent up aggression, the male is prone to outbursts. As a Nobody, his fighting style took control of the strongest memories in his heart. He was not a firestarter, but when his match was lit, he could rampage through anything and anyone.

Saïx's brief existance opened Isa's eyes to a life completely without emotion. Curious to understand it, he found that only his memories held the key to feigning emotion. Unhindered by feelings, he receded back into the small child of his school days: ambitious and ruthless to succeed. With Axel by his side, he could take over the Organization and retrieve their hearts from Kingdom Hearts. Fate did not play to Saïx's adventage, and when Axel grew close to a mere puppet over Saïx, the male remembered a deep-seated primal fire within himself: jealousy. Anger. Annoyance. It all stoked the fire of his soul. Without a heart to rekindle those feelings, they snuffed out, leaving Saïx alone. To make sure his plans came to fruition, he turned his sights to Xemnas.

Returned to life as a somebody, Isa bears his previous defeats heavily on his shoulders. With the return of emotion, he's come to grasp the true meaning of his mistakes. Through logic and reasoning, he dissects them, but his heart refuses to forget the pain it's felt, At a crossroads in his life, the Luna Diviner does not know if he should eclipse his heart for reasoning, or follow it towards daybreak.


Home World: Radiant Garden


Natural Affinities/Abilities/Skills: Isa retained his Nobody abilities. All of his attacks and techniques require the moon's influence to power up. At full strength, he goes into a berserk stance, his weapon changing shape as his human form becomes more manic and beast-like. Under Berserk's influence, Isa's strength and speed greatly increase, his attacks take on new and terrifying power.

Shockwave: While in Berserk mode, Isa will slam his claymore into the ground, producing a seismic earthquake at the point of impact.

Blue Duster: While in Berserk mode, Isa's claymore is granted new power. With every swing or throw of his weapon, a trail of blue flames follows in its wake, scarring the battlefield with azure fire that lasts for up to a couple seconds before dissipating.

Final Limit (Lunar Lander): Grabbing momentum, a berserk Isa will jump up into the air for a devastating final attack. Finding his target, he'll descend quickly, a barrier of blue flames encasing him as he brings his Claymore down for a large area of attack. Exerting his strength, a phantom sphere of his power, similar in appearance to a comet, will hit the ground first, followed by him, his next three attacks causing heavy hitting shockwaves with each swing of his Claymore.


Limitations/Drawbacks: The severity of Isa's attacks are based on the current state of the moon. In a world veiled by darkness, Isa is a strong foe to go up against, but his power is left up to the fate of the moon's phases. During a new moon, his mind is clear and free of a lust for battle. During a half moon, he can only charge up to full power. During a full moon, after charging up his body for a post or two, Isa will unleash his full attack. Only during the Full Moon can he unleash Final Limit, his devastating limit break combo.

As a berserker, Isa's mental health also attributes to his raw power. Normally calm and enigmatic, the male is not prone to outbursts unless things go drastically for or against him. Only when Sora fell for every manipulation thrown at him did the Luna Diviner find the strength to show a hidden side to his personality. In the hypnotic allure of Kingdom Hearts, he cut through everything in his path, ultimately stopped by his predictable move sets. In a rage, Isa does not think when he acts, leaving himself prone to traps and monotony. If his moves can be read, and dodged, he is nothing more than a dumb beast raging. When the hysteria wears off after two posts, the male is completely open until he recharges his strength.

No matter how highly he thinks of himself, Isa is still prone to manipulation from those more skilled at the art than himself. He has been lead astray before, always believing himself to be one step ahead of the game. Truly cunning individuals can trick the male to their side with enough effort. As long as they appeal to the many phases of his persona.

Passive:
Heartborn Eclipse

Canonically, that would be his passive. Isa's only known "magic" comes from when he's powered up by the moon. It grants blue light-based fire to his attacks, which could just as easily be explained by his brute strength and increased speed being the cause for the flames. It's not realistic, but many physical attacks in the game are just as flashy as his are. Where I'm taking him from, Isa would not have magical power or an affinity to magic. At the heart of it all, he's a lunatic.

Weapon: Lunatic - Claymore
A large 2-handed weapon. It has a simple handle with a grey-spiked pommel. The hand guard is shaped like an upwards facing half gear and immediately flows into the lower portion of the blade. The entire blade it cut jaggedly, the edges beveled and sharp, able to slice through heartless and nobodies with relative ease. Three diamond-shaped cutouts run along the top of the blade, two of then connected by dark line chiseled down the claymore's center. At the tip is half of a pale yellow Nobody insignia, the crest connecting large spiky blue protrusions to the end of the large weapon. Whenever Isa goes berserk, the semi-circular halves gain four pale blue spikes that jut out like the Nobody insignia at the blade's center.


Picture: Isa's Weapon


Role Playing Sample: The light of the full moon did not comfort Isa. The male stood alone at the top of the gutted husk of Twilight Town's broken Bell Tower, his eyes surveying the shadowed city below. Swathed in a blanket of darkness, the lit street lamps stood out like the beady eyes of heartless, their glow casting minimal light on anything around them. Isa was not unfamiliar with this city. He remembered fragments of its previous state, its warm color palette of amber and golds. The nobodies lurking in the shadows of the woods and alleys kept surveillance of every nook and cranny for the Organization. That much, Isa remembered. The timeless city lost its luster once the universe's balance ceased to exist.

"Tell me," Isa mused, voicing his thoughts, his turquoise gaze raising up to the moon hanging in the sky. It bathed him in liquid silver, its power coursing through his very being. Even in its fragmented state, the male could feel its tide pulling him closer towards the depths of a dark ocean: his inner darkness. Raising his arms, the somebody welcomed the moon forth like an old friend. "What awaits this world?"

No answer. Isa smirked, a chuckle escaping his thinned lips. It wasn't as if he expected anything from his silent companion. Ever since he obtained its element, its power, he'd come to find reprieve in the floating rock's presence. It remained omnipresent, whispering words of wisdom, guidance, and power to him, a trait he inherited from his Nobody, Saix. Isa needed something, anything, to fill the void and pass the time with. With the return of his heart, the male experienced a tidal wave of emotions, the dark waters uncovering a crippling loneliness brought on by a single realization. There was no one left from his past.

The heartless took his family. If not in the initial creation of Hollow Bastion, they'd no doubt perished in the aftermath of the dark reach. Isa lowered his hands to his sides, his head hanging in defeat. The flaw of his existence: emotion. It tore through the Luna Diviner when he first returned to his childhood home in the Boroughs of Radiant Garden.


In the remaining pieces of the world, he found the debris of his house empty. His feelings numb, his thoughts blank, he stood there taking the sight in, his face devoid of expression. For awhile he remained idle, stuck in the calm eye of a raging storm. Isa couldn't remember summoning Lunatic, but the sudden weight of the manifested claymore brought forth many memories surging beneath his stony exterior. He held true power in his hand, but the will to control it felt far away, hidden behind a deep veil of mist and apathy. Like a silent observer, the male removed himself from the broken picture, a corridor of darkness summoned behind him. In time he would come to terms with the loss, if only to quell the deep-seated rage hidden beneath.

Upon exiting the dark portal, Isa found himself just below the clock tower, its gutted skeleton towering above him like a sacrifice to the gods. From there, he climbed his way up the wreckage, determined to understand the sudden urge pulling his heart towards the top of the tower. The ringing of the bells echoed in his mind the entire time, the phantom noise eliciting a sound similar in tone to a long time friend that'd gone rogue.

"I wonder if he's here," Isa muttered. The dense fog of memories cleared away, allowing the moon to steal his gaze back up to the heavens above. No smirk accompanied his glance, his eyes narrowed in concentration–perhaps even anger–as the silhouette of a faded memory flickered at the back of his conscious. It grew in the strength, the flame revealed red hairs and starling green eyes. "Lea..."

He'd never forgotten. Isa could never forget their past. Even at the crest of his greatest success, when the odds finally seemed in his favor, he never forgot. How could he? The pain of a keyblade's blow felt dull compared to the loss of a friend. Isa turned away from the moon, his body casting a long shadow in front of him. He carried his baggage everywhere, just like a shadow attached on his heels. If there was anything he could due to cut his losses, he would gladly give his heart for it.

"I'm sure that's how you would've wanted it," He growled, his brows knitted together in a scowl, pinching the x-shaped scar at the bridge of his nose. Isa casually strode towards the stairs, his hands finding the comfort of his jacket's pockets. At the broken frame, he paused, taking one last glance at the moon, thanking it for its company with a small nod. He received nothing in return, a small smile curling his lip. It felt nice to have something to confide in, even if it could not talk back.

Departing the rooftop, all that remained in the dull silence of the setting was the sacred moon, its fragmented existence an eerie light in a world of darkness. Hanging there up in the sky, its cold face remained forlorn, as if waiting for its inevitable eclipse.


Questions/Comments/Suggestions? I don't think I'll be referencing too much to the Dark XII plot. I wasn't there for it, and the threads I've read don't seem to finish? Besides, it seems like Isa's heartless didn't actually do much on site...

[Jin]

Hello Lune,

It looks like you're asking for a bit of help deciding exactly what Isa stands for or represents. Whether it's canon or original, my recommendation is to try to keep it to a few words or a simple phrase, and then try to expand on that like you've done in describing his overconfidence. However, if I were you I'd gut out the parts about not being sure what to write and what your goals for the character in the long term are, as those aren't particualarly necessary.

A syntax nitpick: You say "He was a logical thinker, his many hours reading home alone pushing farther ahead than the other students in his classes" in your history. This is a tad wonky. It sounds like the hours he spend reading something called "home alone" were the thing pushing farther ahead than the other students. You'll want to reword this.

When you introduce Lea, you say "They shared their names and, Lea, as he learned, sat with him until the two had completed their frozen confections." The commas in this sentence are a bit weird. I'd try to get by with a comma before the conjunctive use of "and" and then - as I'm showing here - splitting the phrase "as he learned" from the main phrase with hyphens.

"An air of displeasure arose around Isa when Lea got into a fight with the kid; but he hid his feelings behind a small smile as the two duked it out."
That semicolon should be a comma. Nothing escapes my profile eyes!

"At the end of the day, Lea bought them both sea salt ice cream, Isa thankful for the treat, his thoughts elsewhere as he stared up at the wide expanse of sky."
This sentence is sort of all over the place with the comma splices. Try to clean it up a little bit.

"He first learned of Axel's budding relationshiup with Roxas..."
You should probably clean up that misplaced 'u.' It might be useful later.

"After the Castle Oblivion incident, Saïx confronted Lea..."
Was it Lea or Axel? You switch back to Axel right after this.

"...before he became a nobody."
Nobody should be capitalized here. I'd double check every use of the word just in case.

Everything else looks really stable and strong, but there are a couple of non-grammatical concerns I'd like to bring up in just the general sense. You have a bad habit of trying to cram too many details into once sentence and pass it off with commas. Remember: Good sentences are not always long sentences and long sentences are not always good sentences. When you're going back through your profile while sweeping things up, make sure to take this into consideration. Do some of those sentences with upwards of four commas really need four commas? Would they be more easily read if you broke it up into two? When writing, taking the readers into consideration is important, and some things that sound nice in your head may not be as easily processed by people reading your posts.

Also, you mention that Isa is a book worm in your history, but depending on the type of school he was attending and which classes he was taking it would be rather difficult to earn the title of child prodigy just for reading books a lot. Nevermind the stigma that's associated with that title in any role playing community. Does he have any particular subjects he excels in or prefers to others? Right now, it just looks like you're listing "smarter than you" as a character trait. It's vague, and a little disconcerting.

Now, from the time I'm adding this in because I forgot to when I submitted the review, you've got two weeks to get back to us with an update on your work. Any notice is fine, so no need to be alarmed.

Well, that covers everything pertinent. Good luck, and happy editing!

[Deleted]

Edited.

Let me explain a few things.

About the 'what he represents', I have a clear idea what I want to do with him. The question, I felt, was just worded strangely for a canon character. It's just the question form of asking for a 'primary objective'. If you meant it in a way like, "What inspired you to choose this character?" then I changed my response to reflect that. In fact, I'll just word the question that way in my app for my own clarity.

As for the "stigma" of being a child prodigy... I've never seen this stigma before. I've used it for characters that, generally, don't understand basic social etiquette. Even when I asked a couple people what you meant by a stigma, they said it's mostly just a problem here. I apologize if the way I wrote it came off as if I literally meant he was a child prodigy. That was not my intention, and sometimes my thoughts don't translate well to paper. I was using it to create a sense of separation between Isa and the rest of the students that mirrors his separation from the rest of the organization members. It's not a good thing that he's a child prodigy. And he doesn't consider himself one. I don't mention it at all in his personality. It's just a device to show that his superiors find him incredibly useful, while his peers absolutely distrust him. And those that tried to get in good with him he ignored because he's focused on only finishing his goals.

Thank you for the review! It was hard to swallow at first, but it was honestly what I needed to better improve my writing. Thank you for your time.

[Jin]

This is definitely the kind of profile I like to see, and certainly the sort of work ethic that goes into edits that makes me happy. The whole thing reads much more smoothly now, and it's clear you have a thorough understanding of Isa's character.

The bit about the child prodigy stigma was perhaps a bit harsh. I just wanted to make sure you knew that you'd be taking a certain amount of extra responsibility for your writing by assigning the label to the character. However, the way you have it attached makes things flow nice and smooth. I've re-read with your comments in mind, and I definitely see what you're going for.

Thank you for putting up with my blunt reviewing tendencies. Welcome to the game. Make sure you check your PMs to claim your starting item.