Saxen's Original Story

[nomacaa]

This is the original history of my character. As far as RPing him, I've adapted parts of it, but for posting his story, I'm leaving it. It will continue to grow and I will post when I make a major addition. Anyway, here it is.

My name is Caleb Saxen Gunnar. I am sixteen years old, 6 feet tall. I have no friends and my parents kicked me out of the house, so I spend a lot of time wandering around. I had found a series of tunnels just a little way out of the town. I spent a lot of time exploring them. One day, I found a tunnel I hadn’t seen before. I started into it. It was a long, descending stone hallway lit by torches on the wall. As I went down, the slope became more extreme and strange writing in an unknown language appeared on the wall. It stayed like that for a while. Eventually, I slipped. I started sliding down, down, down, until the stone floor disappeared. I was falling! After a few seconds, I heard squeaking. Almost immediately I was riding on a 5’8 bat. “Greetings Oranh. I am Kalck. I shall take you to the arena to be examined by Socales.”

“What’s going on here? There’s gotta be some hallucinogen in that cave or something.” I said. I couldn’t believe I was riding a giant bat.

“Right. Oranhs are not used to seeing talking, giant, bats. Anyhow, I am Kalck.” About then a very large building that looked almost just like the Roman Coliseum came into view. “Ah, there’s the Arena.” Arena did not seem a sufficient word to describe this place. The structure was identical to the Coliseum in Rome, but this arena was even larger and had well-planned lights all around that illuminated the entire area. The floor was carpeted in colored mosses giving the feeling of a game field. There, I was greeted by an old, bearded, man about my height, whose hair was starting to gray. That was Socales. “How have you ventured into our domain of Anhnyqueg, Oranh?” He asked.

“Well, uh, I…kind of tripped.” I responded lamely. “I was walking in some cave and ended up here.” He nodded like he had gone through this all before. “By the way, what’s an Oranh?”

“Oranhs are those arrogant, self righteous racists that forced us Dianhs down here!” A man that I hadn’t noticed responded very strongly. “Once I have an army I intend to show them the error of their ways.” When I turned to the voice, I saw a large man standing at about 6’2”. His skin was pitch black. He wore a red coat that came down to the ground, although about halfway down, it faded into black. It had weighted, black shoulder pads and he wore weighted white gloves that came to the middle of his forearm. He wore weighted black boots and black pants. He carried a nasty looking, slightly curved sword.

“Enough, Grok!” Socales rebuked the man. “When is the last time you’ve been to the surface? Things change over time.”

“No,” Grok nearly yelled in reply, “We have been in Voqueg fighting for you for almost 200 years and we are still second class citizens. Things don’t change.” At that, he dropped his weighted gloves and coat, drew his sword, and attacked me. I jumped backwards and kept moving. That was all I could think. “Move! Move! Move!” kept repeating in my head.

This went on until I spotted a spare sword sitting in the arena. I made a mad dash for it, diving past Grok. I picked up the sword and took my stance. I stood up straight holding my sword in my left hand downward at a 45° to my body. To him, this seemed like I was challenging him. He attacked me again, bringing his sword down at me. I lost my senses as soon as he attacked. I knew that I was still fighting, but I couldn’t control it. The next thing that I knew was that I was standing by Socales with a cut or two on my arm and Grok had a few cuts as well. Socales had grabbed a sword somewhere in this. I leaned on him, a little tired.

“Why did he attack me?” I asked.

“He is a Dianh. He believes that all Oranhs are just as racist as he is. He fears that Oranhs never have and never will change.” Socales replied. “Well, let us take you to the Palace. You are my guest. You will stay in the barracks with the soldiers as you cannot return to Orqueg.”

“Orqueg?”

“The overland. Above ground.”

“Ah. All right. I guess…” We went off to the Palace.
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The city of Anhnyqueg was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. Most of the buildings were domes made out of different kinds of stone. The kind of stone used was indicative of who lived there. Plain stone was for the middle class, marble was next up, and then obsidian was for the richest people. Each door had a symbol on it. I found out later that those were the family crests. I took note of a few of them. One was very simple. It was just a circle with an X in it, but there was a shield by the door that had the full coat of arms. The coat of arms was based on the crest. The top section of the circle held a snake, the left had a lion’s head, the bottom had a sword and shield, and the right had a griffon. The next one I noticed was a dragon with a heart on its chest. The heart had an X in it. The last one I noticed was at the Castle. One the side of the castle was a large glass structure in the shape of a heart. Within that heart was a large wooden cross. It was the only wood in the entire city. The rest of the Castle was just as dazzling. The Palace itself was tens of stories tall and made mostly of obsidian, with some marble, and even glass. It was covered with ornate arches and domes, showing off the skill of the workers who built it. The streets were paved just like the roads in Orqueg, except that they were painted over with glowing paint. As Socales led me down the street, many people looked out to see the Oranh. I felt like a silly spectacle for the whole world to see. Most of the Anhs were very pale. These were the native Anhs that somehow came from Rome 2000 years ago. The others were mostly blacks who had been forced into Anhnyqueg due to slavery or racism in the past few hundred years. The blacks that came down earlier had skin that was totally black. Grok’s family must have come from that time. The Anh’s eyes were also more cat-like to allow them to see in the dark. It also helped that on the roof of the cave, there was a complex lighting system set up that was time based. It simulated the light on the surface, only much dimmer.

As we approached the Palace, Socales started to tell me a bit about the history of the Anhs. “Almost 2,000 years ago, a man named Neiday the Great led a group of Roman Christians to Egypt to gain possession of some of their ships. They took them and adapted them for the ocean. They got here and, although most of the ships were greatly damaged, Neiday kept all of the people safe. He then encountered the natives. He lived with them for a short time, learned their language, and convinced them to allow his people to live underground. The natives agreed. The real quest began then. The Anhs started to dig deeper into pre-existing cave systems until they found this area. Luckily, the first beings they encountered were the Nutars, the bats. The Nutars allowed the Anhs to live on the ground and they would take the cave roof. The rest will be saved for another day.” He finished as we came to the Palace. A ladder was lowered from about the fifth floor. “Make your way up this and then down to the first floor to find the barracks,” Socales instructed me. I followed his instructions and started up the ladder. Once I reached the top, I was instructed to go to the supplies and registration room on the second floor. Socales gave me a slip to show them. I walked down the stairs for four floors and headed down the hall, trying to find the registration room. It was right beside another set of stairs. I went in and gave them the slip.

“Uh, I’m Saxen. I think I’m here to register to stay in the barracks.” I tried to explain, but I had no clue what I was really doing either.

“Here you go,” he said as he handed me a uniform of black leather armor bearing the crest of the royal family and a sword. The crest had the spaces filled in red. The armor also had metal shoulder plates. “You’re to report to the Arena tomorrow at 9:00 for an aptitude test and a basic physical examination. You will be in bunk 13.”

“Thank you,” I said as I walked out the door, down the stairs, and to bunk 13. I changed into the leather armor. It wasn’t that bad. I then picked up the sword and pulled it out of its leather case. I examined the blade. I loved it. Though it was simple, it would be effective enough. I put the sword back away, changed back into my normal clothes, excluding the cut-offs, and went to bed.
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I had set my iPod to wake me up at 8:00. When I got up, I turned it off and hid it away. I changed into his armor, strapped my sword to my left hip, and headed to the mess hall. My breakfast consisted mostly of mushrooms and a few fruits. After that, I started off to the Arena. The walk was a little longer than I would have liked, and people kept staring at me as I walked by. I started to get irritated.

When I got to the Arena, I was greeted by Kalck. Kalck was a black, powerful, large Nutar covered in unusual red markings that surrounded his eyes and followed his skeleton all over his body. I walked over to a group of people in similar armor and was taken aside by a commanding officer.

“I am Captain Peter. I will be in charge of your exams.” He stated this very simply. “Now then, draw your sword and get into a stance.”

This was a little weird for me because I’m left handed. I drew it out with my left hand, spun it so that I wasn’t holding it in a reverse grip, and got into the same stance that I used against Grok. “Now what?” I asked.

He drew his sword and said, “Now, we fight a few rounds to test your abilities. I will allow you to take the first move.”

Up until he offered me the first move, I had been idly spinning my sword. When he said that I could have the first move, I sped up my spinning, slid forward, and thrusted my sword at him. He, of course, blocked it and swung for my neck. I jumped back and got back into my stance, spinning my blade. He jumped forward to try to hit me, but I moved my spin to hit his blade and I kept hitting it in a circle until it slipped from his hand. “Is that sufficient, sir?” I asked.

“Yes, I suppose it is.” He responded. “Now, we are going to test some of your other abilities, such as: strength, speed, endurance, and agility. First up will be speed, as that’s the easiest.” He took me over to a simple treadmill. It was totally non-electric. He set me on it. Apparently, he was satisfied with my speed as he told me I was clear on that. Next, was strength. He had me on different weight machines to see how I did. He was satisfied with my strength as well. For endurance, he had me do something like one of the pacer tests at school. Again, I passed. For agility, he had me on balance beams and attempting flips and handsprings. He was far less than satisfied in that department, probably because I fell on my face at least 10 times.

“That’s enough for now. At least now we know where to focus. Report back here at 14:00.” he told me. Kalck offered me a ride back to the Palace. I obviously accepted. When we got back, I went to have lunch. We met up again on the way to the Arena for more practice. He offered me another ride and I took it. We talked on the way there. When we landed, I was greeted by fellow soldier Mateusz Zangus. Zangus was about my height, and he had shaggy, silver, shoulder length hair. His eyes were actually red.

“My name Is Mateusz Zangus, and I will be helping you train,” he explained. “Now, can you do a cartwheel?”

“Yeah,” I responded. “I may be inept, but I can do that much.”

“Alright, then show me a back handspring.”

“A’ight.” I did it, albeit a little sloppy.

“Not bad, although I can tell that you have never had any practice with this.” We practiced for a couple of hours and then moved on to some simple sparring. 30 minutes bare hand, 30 minutes armed.

When it came to the sword fighting, he said, “I hear that you’re really good. I heard that you beat Grok. That takes a lot. He’s one of our best fighters.”

“I’m sure I just got lucky,” I told him. After that, we fought for a half hour, talking the whole time. At 17:00, we stopped and returned to the Palace. Zangus rode his bond, Cyjor, and I got another ride with Kalck. Cyjor was a strong, silver bat with red stripes on his wings. The bat was a little larger than average at about 5’6“. Zangus told me about how an Anh can bond to another creature and they do everything together. The most common bond is Anh/Nutar. We returned and ate some dinner. At dinner, he told me that other soldiers would join our sparring. He said that he could probably choose them and, if he could, he would pick Jamey and Christy.
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After supper, we headed down to the library. I tried to read the books, but they were all in the Anh language, Anhvraym. “I can’t read any of this,” I muttered.

“I’ll help you learn,” Zangus offered.

“Maybe. We’ll see.” As I said this, I noticed Socales coming over to us.

“Greetings to the two of you. Saxen, I have arranged to allow myself to teach you our language so you can read. I’m sure you’ll appreciate it.” Socales said all of this and I could hardly believe it.

“Thanks,” I said. “I really would appreciate it. Could we start now?”

“I don’t see why not.”

For the next two hours I started to learn their language. They started with the alphabet and continued to teach me a few words. The first one I picked up on was Zykon: Sword. After that, we headed back to our bunks. I had borrowed some translation books from the library and kept alternating between studying and practicing with my sword. At 22:00, I went to bed.
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I reported the next morning at 9:00. I was stuck with one more test to take. They said that it would last until 11:00, but after that, I would be clear to leave if I wanted. They moved all of the other soldiers to another part of the arena and set up cannons all around. They were all pointed in my general direction. They were all loaded with ball that would release a red liquid on contact. They got several cannoneers to operate the cannons. The first part was just to fire from the cannons and see how many I could block with my sword. They fired 20 “blood balls” at me from the different cannons. As soon as I heard the first shot, my instinct kicked in again. I lost my senses and defended against all 20. After they were done, I regained my senses. All of the soldiers that had seen what had just happened rushed over to see if it was possible. Captain Peter then informed me that, for the next part, they were going to continuously fire the cannons at me for the next couple of hours and see how I do. Again, when they started firing, my instinct kicked in. I continued to defend, but I also quickly advanced forward. Soon, I was right on top of one of the cannoneers. He had to draw his own sword just to keep from being killed. The others quickly converged on me with their own swords. I managed to keep them all off of me. It was only when Kalck pulled me up out of the fight that I regained my sense.

“What’s going on?” I asked, both angry and confused.

“When they started the test, you attacked them and they had to gang up on you. Had I not pulled you out of there, I don’t know what would have happened.” Kalck explained.

“Oh…” I replied weakly.

“I’ll take you back to your barracks so you can get some rest.” He told me as he flipped me onto his back. I got back and went straight to bed.
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I got back up at 11:30. My neck was sore. I sat up and realized that I was still in my armor. I went down to the mess hall with my translation workbook. I reported back to the arena at 14:00 and went through the two hours of acrobatic training. After that, two more soldiers joined us. One was a guy with shaggy blonde hair that was a few inches taller than me, but he was a year younger than me. The other was a girl that stood at about 5’5” and had brown hair that came down to her waist. They were clothed in similar brown leather armor like all of the other soldiers. “Alright,” Zangus began. “Today, we’re going to do something a little different with the sparring. We’re going to take turns fighting three at a time. I’ll go first.”

“This should be fun…” I said to myself. We began and I quickly realized that Zangus was better than I thought, and I knew that he was pretty good. He kept the three of us back for about ten seconds before I took it up a little bit and got my sword at his throat. “I think you’re dead,” I told him, smiling a little.

“Okay, how about you try, then.”

“A’ight. No big deal. I fought off five guys earlier this morning.” Although I boasted of that, I still didn’t know what had happened that morning. When we began, I leapt back to get a little distance. When I saw the three of them coming, my senses fuzzed, but they were also more focused. Everything except for my attackers faded from view and I could see every weak point. Every open area was highlighted in my brain. They came at me and, before any of them could get a good swing, I swung into their open points and had them down. When they backed off, I totally blacked out. That was what I later called my “Battle Mode.”
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We continued to do things like this for the next couple of weeks. We all started to hang out in our free time and I continued to learn the language. I started to gain enough fluency that I could speak it and hold a conversation. I found out a lot about the Jamey, Christy, and Zangus. Christy was a royal, although not from Neiday’s bloodline. She joined the army because she got tired of being seen and treated as a princess. She was hardly able to do anything for herself. She was alright at everything, she just lacked some of the basic skills. She could learn, though. Jamey was one of the nobles, but not enough to normally live in the palace. He was considered strong enough and drafted. Zangus’s parents were killed by giant wasps, called the Zyvar, when he was 9. He decided to enlist in the army to prevent that from happening to other people. He was a strong warrior with a sense of honor just as strong as he was. They all were friends with the Queen.

One of those days, after my language class, Socales took me to a room with a large stone door. He opened it and took me inside. It was a large stone room with the same strange writing that I saw on the tunnel walls on my way down. “These are the prophecies of Neiday the Great. He had a strange fighting ability that he passed down to whoever he chose, along with some of his responsibilities. Ah, here is the one I wanted to show you.” He pointed to one in the middle of the wall.

The prophecy read:

ZAK WAKA ORANH FIP WA HYNN
WAKA WEPA DE HEKVAR ES NIVA WY KYG
WAN WAKA ZYTANH EY PAS HEADS
POV HEKWAJ WA VIXE ANHNYQUEG
EN TIS HEKVAR ONE POV THANATOS
WAKA TAV POV KON NAW TYJA NUH
EY WAKA AKAPU ZENN WYRTKA WA MENN
HIT ZEF WAKA ZYTANH HYENS PES KEZ
WAKA AKAPU NO HAYT TAY KING

Which translated to:

WHEN THE ORANH COMES TO FALL
THE TIME OF WAR IS CLOSE AT HAND
THEN THE WARRIOR AND HIS FRIENDS
MUST FIGHT TO SAVE THE UNDERLAND
IN THIS WAR THOUGH ONE MUST DIE
THE REST MUST NOT LEST ANGER FLY
AND THE ENEMY WILL ATTACK TO KILL
FOR IF THE WARRIOR FAILS US NIGH
THE ENEMY WILL HAVE NO FEAR

“So,” I started, “you think that I’m this chosen warrior?”

“Yes, I do. Also, the nature of his prophecies are a little different. This one has been fulfilled many times and will continue to be until THE Warrior fulfills all of the prophecies. Most times an oranh enters into Anhnyqueg, a warrior rises. Sometimes, it’s the oranh himself, sometimes not. I believe that this time, you are the warrior. I have reason to believe that you have Neiday’s battle ability, but you can’t control it.”

Socales sounded like he was right. I looked over the prophecy again. “So, I’m stuck in this? Whatever. I’ll fight, but I hope you’re wrong. I don’t want to see anybody dying.” With that, I turned around and, once I was out of his sight, ran to the barracks to talk to Zangus and Jamey.

“I’m sure y’all know about Neiday’s main prophecy. Socales says that he thinks I’m the warrior.” I told them.

“I wouldn’t doubt it,” Zangus said. “You practically show off with your ‘battle mode.’”

“Hey,” Jamey interrupted. “What if Socales is wrong and one of us is the warrior. What do you think Zangus?”

“I don’t think that’s very likely.” As he said it Jamey shot him a glance that said “What? You don’t think we’re good enough?” Zangus continued to say, “The main reason being that neither of us have the ‘battle mode.’ Otherwise, I think we could.”

“Hey, wait just a second.” I intervened. “We were discussing the fact that one of us is going to die according to the prophecy. In fact, Christy could die, too.” That shut them up. Nothing else was said for the rest of the night.
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At breakfast the next morning, a servant came and told me that I was to report to the Queen this morning, rather than to practice. “Thank you,” I said to him. “Please, tell her that I will report to her at 9:00.” I thanked him again and he was on his way.

Of course, one of the guys couldn’t resist saying, “Look’s like Saxen’s in trouble.”

“Thanks a lot, man.” I responded plainly. “What do you think she wants?”

“She probably just wants to meet ‘The Warrior.’” Jamey assured me.

“Or she thinks you’re cute,” Zangus couldn’t resist saying.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure that’s it.” I told him.

“Hey, it could be.”

“No, I don’t think anyone would say he’s cute.” Jamey said looking me over. “No, probably amazingly cool, good looking, or manly, but not cute. Although, if you ask me, he fits in ‘none of the above.’” With that, Jamey and Zangus bust up laughing. I thought it was kind of funny.

“You guys are a bunch of hopeless idiots.” I heard Christy say as she walked away. At that, I started cracking up, too.

“Man, I better go.” I said as I noticed a few people leave.

“Good luck!” Zangus hollered after me.

When I got to the throne room, I told them my name and that the Queen had requested to see me. They sent me in. Whatever I had planned to say or do was totally lost as soon as I saw her. She seemed flawless. Her hair was a flowing silver-blonde and her eyes were a dazzling sky blue. Under her left eye, she had a very small tattoo of the family crest. She also wore a lot of gold, but I didn’t notice that then. It took me a second to get my head clear enough to say “You wanted to see me?”

“Yes,” she said. “I want everybody out for a moment” The guards and servants left. “Yes,” she repeated, “I’ve heard my friends speak very highly of you. I wanted to invite you to dinner after practice tomorrow, for which I will join you with my bond, Carissa. Do you accept this offer?”

“Yes ma’am.” I responded immediately. I was thinking to myself “Zangus may have been right.” “Is there anything else I can do for you?” I asked her.

“Yes,” she said. “You can call me by my name. It’s Trisha. Please don’t forget it. You can go now if you wish.”

“See you tomorrow.” I said as I left. After the meeting, I went to the Open Hall to meet everyone coming back from practice. The Open Hall was a large room with a large opening to allow bats and their riders to come in. The walls that were there had seats to allow for assemblies to be held there and there were notches in the ceiling to allow an audience of bats as well. When they came in, of course, they asked what she had wanted. I told them that she wanted to join us for practice the next day and that she had invited me to dinner.

“I told you,” Zangus said. “She likes you. You’re the most popular guy around and she’s a girl. What do you expect?” This was met by a punch from Christy.

When I looked at her, she said “I know him well enough. I’ve earned the right to that every so often.” I then looked over at Zangus. He was rubbing his side, but he would be okay. Training was pretty normal that afternoon and my language class went without a problem as well. The next day went normally, too until afternoon training. At afternoon training, we had the full group. It was me, Zangus, Trisha, Jamey, and Christy. This was how it was supposed to be, although we all knew that it wouldn’t stay that way. This time, we did flight exercises. I rode Kalck, Zangus rode Cyjor, Trisha rode Carissa, Jamey rode Ajax, and Christy rode Karis. Ajax was another large, brown bat of about 5‘6“, Karis had a deep red coat with white marks over the wings that made her look like an eagle, and Carissa was a bat with golden fur and a silver strip down her back. We had to navigate a course, hit all the targets, and dodge fake arrows that burst out fake blood on impact. This was new to me. The course consisted of several tunnels, swinging obstacles, hoops, and the targets were pretty straightforward, but you had to know how to use a sword to hit them all. Zangus flew through and, to show off a little, he blocked some of the arrows instead of having Cyjor dodge. He made it through with one hit because of that. Jamey went next. He went through and accidentally had Ajax move a little different than he had meant and almost crashed, but he recovered quickly and made it through without a scratch. When it was Christy’s turn, she mounted Karis and took off. It looked like she was going to make it, but just as she was about to make it to the end, she got hit by an arrow, fell off of Karis, but Karis was quick enough to get under her and get them to the ground safe. Then it was Trisha‘s turn. She was an exceptional flyer. She made it through perfectly. She just barely hit a couple of targets though.

My turn. My stomach was a mess. “Just fly where you need to be. I’ll adjust my swing to compensate,” I whispered to Kalck. We had flown enough to figure out that he would fly, and I would fight unless I directed him otherwise. To do this I would put my hand on his head and guide it whichever direction I needed to go. We took off. We landed. It was done. No “blood” spots. Trisha seemed impressed. After the course, we did some flight drills. When those were done, Trisha told us that we were done for the day. On the way back to the Palace, Kalck and I talked like normal and we told each other what we thought of Trisha and Carissa.

The next thing to do was dinner with the Queen. I followed her there. We talked the whole way there. She really wanted to hear about things in Orqueg, but I was just as interested in what things were like in Anhnyqueg, especially the politics. I decided to do what she wanted so I talked about things like telephones, TV, and iPods. She told me that they had a museum of things that had fallen into Anhnyqueg from Orqueg. I decided to check it out later. When we got to the room where we were going to eat, I was caught a little off guard. I was expecting more people and a large banquet room or something, but what I was led into was a fairly small room with shining marble walls covered in elaborate carvings and a poem or two on one end. The poems were written in Anhvraym. We sat down on opposite ends of a small circular table while trays of food were brought in. It was mostly fish, mushrooms, and other things that could thrive in the dark. Something I noticed almost right away was the bowl of shrimp. As soon as the servants and everyone but Trisha left, I started eating. Anyone who knows me knows that I take my food very seriously. I eat like I will never eat again. I ate half of the shrimp, a couple of fish, and several things that I have no idea what it was. When I was done, I asked her about the political state of Anhnyqueg. She explained that the government was run by the royal family who were all descendants of Neiday, but that their power was balanced by an elected consul who could challenge the decisions of the king or queen. If that was the case, it was taken to a council whose members were chosen half by the queen or king, one fourth by the consul, and one fourth directly by the people. “This,” she explained, “gives the majority of the power to the royal family, but allows the people to have the final decision on certain matters.” It sounded reasonable to me. “But the Dianhs,” she continued, “feel that their voice is unheard in the government. They think that only the original Anhs that came down with Neiday have any say. They are totally wrong. They have a voice, and it is acknowledged, but the consul is usually a native, so about seven eighths of the council is consisted of natives.”

“Why don’t you reelect your council members to even out the numbers?”

“It’s not that simple. I have to choose people that will do what’s best for Anhnyqueg. It would also be nice to have people that will likely support my decisions. The Dianhs are war oriented. Their main goal is usually to get revenge on the oranhs. With you here, any negotiation has probably become pointless.” I left soon after this and went to my bunk. Things were finally going well for me, but that didn’t last long.
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The next day, we had all decided to go to the surface and see a movie after afternoon practice. We had decided to walk back to the Castle instead of flying. On our way back, we heard Grok’s rally, “We Dianhs are proud warriors. We have fought alongside the natives against their enemies and what say do we have in our governmental affairs? Next to none! And if you don’t agree with me on that point, I have one on which we all agree. They honor an Oranh as their guest! Of all creatures on and under the Earth, we despise the Oranhs above all others! Will we stand by and watch one fraternize with our queen?!? What will that bring us but certain destruction! All Oranhs are the same. They have not changed. In fact, as we speak, that Oranh is probably planning to make us all slaves even here below the Earth! Who here is willing to fight with me to eradicate the Oranh ‘Warrior’?” This speech was greeted by cheers and a call to arms. Almost every Dianh in Anhnyqueg drew a sword and many joined up with their bonds. Some Dianhs had bonded to outcast Zyvar, others to Vertices (scorpions), but mostly still to bats. The sight of the assembled force was terrifying. I had never seen anything like it. Rows of people with tar black skin. The first row was comprised of those with Vertex bonds, all behind were on foot. Then there was the phalanx in the air. Again, the first row was the most deadly. It was comprised of Dianhs bonded with the Zyvar. It was a very diverse group, but very effective. We saw this and had to move into action.

“Everybody needs to get a weapon, quick!” I started giving orders immediately. “The best formation for us to use would be to place Jamey and Christy to my right with Christy on the inside, I’ll take center, and Trisha and Zangus will be on my left, with Zangus on the inside. I’ll yell ‘break’ if I think we need to break formation. Got it?” Nobody argued. “Although,” I said to Zangus, “I’ll need you to fight left-handed. I know you can do it.”

“Yes, I will.” He assured me. “It will not be a problem.”

“Now, Cyjor, I need you to go get weapons for us. Ajax and Karis, you are not our Nutars so you need to report back for orders. Kalck, go with them and alert Socales of what has happened. Carissa, get as many people to safety as possible. A battle on the streets is very dangerous when nobody is armed.” We got into our positions on the streets as soon as Cyjor returned with swords and shields and we kept the army from reaching houses before Carissa could. This was very difficult because of the troops mounted on Zyvar and Nutars. With the five of us in the V, we held off all attacks. Suddenly, my ‘instinct’ kicked in. My senses sharpened. My vision became more selective. I could see through guards. I smiled. Why? I was about to kill, but I was smiling! I didn’t have time to worry about it right then. I decided I’d worry about it later. There were scorpion tails raining down on us constantly. We had to keep our shields above our heads as we parried blows from the pincers and their riders. I was starting to tire. The others were worse off than I was. I was forced to defend for them every so often. But right as I was ready to give in and be conquered by these beasts, Socales flew out on his bat Julius with a small guard and they swept in, simultaneously severing the tails of the Vertices. I was now able to be a little more offensive. I ran forward, ran my sword into the pincer on my left, blocked the other with my shield and kicked its eyes. In its panic, I withdrew my sword from his pincer, dodge an attack from the rider, counterattacked and killed the rider, and then I killed the scorpion. Zangus copied this move. Trisha then tried and barely succeeded because she was agile enough to leap over attacks. There were two vertices left. Socales dove down and picked off the riders making it easier for Christy and Jamey to finish the scorpions. They accomplished that quickly, but then we had to fight large rows of soldiers. Socales and his guard were too occupied in the air to help. We all fought well, but we also tired. We fought for a difficult ten minutes before the Anhzyt arrived. The Anhzyt was the army. When they arrived, it balanced the odds. We had to keep fighting. We were forcing the Dianhs into a retreat until Grok and his friend Xabar dropped down in front of us. They called the troops to fight harder than ever and attacked me directly. Grok had been doing a lot of training! No…there was something different…in his eyes. I could see a strong desire to kill. And with that, I noticed that they were almost glazed over…no…they were focused. Just like mine. It must not have happened when we fought the first time because he didn’t register me as a threat. We were stalemated. In the middle of a battle, a duel was commencing. Zangus was fighting Xabar. I recognized Xabar’s family crest. Xabar had the circle-X. The others were being ganged up on…This wasn’t going well…not at all…and then, I totally blacked out. Right in the middle of the fight. Grok put a gash in my left side. Kalck had reappeared by then and dove down to lift Grok up. This prevented him from killing me, but when Kalck flipped to slam Grok on the ground, he slipped off his coat and landed on his feet. Now the weights were off. Kalck then transported me to the hospital wing. The battle was still raging outside. Zangus, Trisha, Christy, and Jamey had to fight Grok and Xabar alone. I jerked awake. For a fraction of a second, I thought it had all been a dream. I ordered Kalck to return to the battlefield and have Jamey and Christy mount on him. Then Trisha could mount Carissa, and Zangus could mount Cyjor. I was stuck in the hospital wing. Trisha recounted to me what happened one night at dinner, so I will place the account here for your convenience. “One you blacked out,” she explained, “We had a tough time fighting everyone off. Soldiers died all around us, many from the Anhzyt. We all lived because we stuck together. We fought as hard and long as we could, but we tired quickly and had to fall back into the ranks. We were safer there, until you take into account that the Dianh/Zyvarav duos had yet to be exterminated. It was about then that Kalck returned. By then all of the civilians had been move to safety. ‘Mount up,’ he said. ‘Christy and Jamey on me, Trisha, Zangus, on your bonds.’ We did as he asked and quickly took to fighting the Zyvar. This was difficult as you had to outmaneuver and outfight your opponent while dodging their stingers. We quickly decided it would be easier to remove the stinger than to evade it. So we would distract one as another one of us would slice off its stinger. Once that was done, It was easy to fight them. The Zyvar died almost immediately and the rest fell into retreat.” They then came to the palace to check on me. Zangus has a large wound on his right leg. He got stitched and bandaged up and was instructed not to use it for a week.

“That went well.” I said to him jokingly.

“Yes, very well, but anyway, if I am needed to fight, I must be with Cyjor as I cannot use my leg.” Zangus replied.

“Why worry about it Zangus?” I asked. “I don’t think the Dianhs will attack again.” I was wrong.

We rested for a day or two before we were permitted to do anything. The first thing I did was go down to their Orqueg museum to see if there was anything that could be of use to me. To me, it looked like an old basement used for storage of things someone didn’t want to get rid of. I dug through some of the stuff and I found a few useful things. I found an iPod charger chord and several electric devices. As I still had my iPod touch with me, I worked to connect the charger to a hand generator so I could charge it. After an hour or so of work, I was done and I had a fully charged iPod. I went to find Trisha so I could show her some of the things that Orqueg had. When I found her, she told me there had been another attack and that there probably will be another now that the Dianhs had allied with the Zyvar. Thus had begun the Anh’s Civil War.
_________
Due to doing some stupid stuff, I was confined to the hospital until they decided I was in good health. They even posted guards at the exits. I felt loved. Zangus and I got out a week and a half later. Once we were released, I was told to attend a war meeting. I was brought up to date on a few things. One new thing was that the Dianhs had taken the arena and set up base there, It was an ideal position. Another was that the Zyvar were sending armies to go under the command of Grok. It was all Grok. He started it, we could use him to end it. “Look,” I said, “I have a plan. I could take Zangus, Trisha, Christy, Jamey, Cyjor, Ajax, Karis, Carissa, and Kalck to assault the arena. The goal would be to get in and take out Grok. If we take him out, their organization falls apart and we might could negotiate with them.” I thought it sounded good.

“Or we could send the Anhzyt in after you return and crush them permanently.” Several people thought that this was a better idea. “Then we would be back to the original society that was started here 2000 years ago and never worry about outside influence again.”

“No.” I said very strongly. “Negotiation will work better in the end. In fact, we may even be able to negotiate with the Zyvar. And do not try to tell me that we can fight the Zyvar. I know that we would die. Besides, the prophecy says ‘The warrior and his friends must fight’ and I don’t want anybody else along or I won’t fight, or I could just let myself die in a fight. That would be worse according to Neiday. It seems clear to me that he says that if I die, everyone does.” That last part was a lie, but maybe some people would have that idea. There was a murmur through the group.

“But Saxen, There‘s almost no way 5 riders could get into the arena and fight the armies that they have there!” I could hear the worry in Trisha’s voice, but I wasn’t concerned.

“Look, first off, I am now ‘Swordsman’ as all I am to your people is a warrior so now I’m Swordsman. On the count of 5 on armies, I think we can do it. We just have to capture Grok.”

“Fine then, Swordsman. Let’s play it your way.” It was settled. I talked to Trisha afterwards.

“Look, the name Swordsman is mostly a public title. I don’t really like it, but it’s who I am. We need to gear up and mount up.” I told her. “The sooner the better.” The worry was evident in her eyes, the pain in mine. In my heart, was the fear for whoever the one to die would be. Even then, I understood it could have even been me. We all geared up in heavier armor than usual and picked our favorite weapon combinations. I carried three swords. Two short-swords on my hips and a broadsword on my back. Zangus had his usual two short-swords just like mine and a shield on his back. Jamey had a sword and a shield. Christy took a Sword and a shield. Trisha thought that a short-sword, a belt of knives, and a shield were good. We mounted up and took off for the arena that was usually associated with games, practice, and good times. I sent Jamey and Christy to perch on opposite sides of the arena in the bleachers, mid-level. Zangus, Trisha, and I headed in from different gates. We burst in. Chaos. People were mounting up onto Nutars and Zyvar as quickly as possible. Some tried to mount the Zyvar too quickly and got the stinger, thus killing both the rider and the mount. “Grok!” I yelled out. “I challenge you to a duel, right here, right now! The first time we fought, I didn’t register as a threat to you, the second, I was improperly prepared. Now we shall fight on even terms. If you refuse, a lot of people will die. I wish to solve this peacefully, but I do not think that you will let me. Do you accept my challenge, refuse, or wish to negotiate?” I waited a moment. He called off the army. I had struck a nerve. I questioned his pride and his honor. He could negotiate, but no, he sees that as cowardly. I think I had him on that one as the next thing I heard was:

“I accept your challenge Oranh! I shall destroy you and take Anhnyqueg for the Dianhs!” Grok’s proclamation was accompanied by cheers. I wasn’t sure if it was because they thought he was right, or because they thought they might get the chance to take his power. I’m still not.

I gave Trisha my broadsword and one of the other swords. Than all I had was the government issue sword. As I walked forward to face Grok, I prayed to God, “Just as you allowed David to kill Goliath with the sling and stone, help me to capture this man.” Then, I was right in front of Grok. We agreed on no backup.

I signaled Jamey and Christy to move where they wouldn’t be seen before the seats started filling up. It now was the Coliseum. “BEGIN!” one of the soldiers yelled. Our battle modes both activated immediately. Both of us could see every flaw in each other’s defenses, but we also saw each other’s attacks and defended. I had forgotten that his strength was far greater than mine. He was able to pound my defenses and attacks away like they were nothing. I made a very risky move and dove past him, rolling and extending my move as far as I could. I got up, switched sword hands, and relied on a strategy of speed and power from my core, not my arms. I started to batter him back, but soon, one of the soldiers jumped in and knocked me out by surprise. I was told later by Grok himself that he executed the man who did it on the spot, but it still started a serious battle. Grok would have waited for me to get up, but Zangus charged him, riding Cyjor. Grok dodged and his men mounted and attacked. Trisha dove down and tried to get me out of the center of the arena and onto her bat until I woke up, but Carissa just wasn’t strong enough.

“We got him!” Jamey yelled as Ajax pulled the fastest dive he had ever done and grabbed me. He flipped me onto his back so Jamey could hold me there. Mostly, my group evaded, ran, and tried to stay away from attacks.

When I woke up, I jumped over to Kalck. “Let’s turn this fight around,” I said to him. “We have to get my weapons from Trisha first.” We flew over and she tossed me my weapons. I drew both of my short-swords and we started flying by people and attacking them as fast as we could. The others covered me. We started to take out a large number of people. Several people came at me and Kalck and Kalck pulled up quickly, knocking them into each other. I then jumped down and killed them. As I stood up and watched for Kalck, I saw Grok on a Zyvar. They flew over and killed Zangus and Cyjor. I released a primitive roar. I dropped my swords and grabbed my broadsword while still falling through the air. I started jumping on random nutars and zyvara to get to Grok. I didn’t get very far that way, and Kalck caught me. He flew me over and I was able to hit Grok hard with the flat of my blade. We dove, caught him, and took him over to Jamey.

“Take him back to the Palace. I have to finish things here.” Kalck and I then flew close to the wall. I took my sword and scraped it against the stone. The sound got everyone’s attention. “We’ve captured Grok. He was your leader and your most capable fighter. Surrender, and you can live. If you continue to fight, you will lose this war and then your lives. Negotiate with us. We can have peace if you are willing. You have made yourself heard, now you just have to speak. One of you, come with me. We will go and speak with the council. You can even have your Queens word that they will listen.”

I looked over at Trisha. She didn’t look very happy, but she was a 16 year old girl making decisions she didn’t want to make. “You have my word of honor that we will listen.” she announced to them. One of them offered to come with us. This battle was over. I sent a group of them to the palace, with us as their escorts. They were to negotiate with the Queen, the Consul, and the Council. I never heard what happened, but there was peace after a few small battles.
________
After the battle, I went to seek an audience with the Queen. I was welcomed in. Trisha took me to another part of the palace that would be a little more private. “I think I’m going to leave Anhnyqueg for a week or two. I…can’t stay down here where everything reminds me of battle.” There were tears welling in my eyes. “I just can’t believe that he would be defeated…he was a great fighter…and a great friend.” The tears had come beyond welling, they were flowing down my cheeks. I could just barely see that Trisha was crying too. We just stood there embracing each other and the mutual comfort. Although, soon, we had to part ways. I went to the Open Hall to meet Kalck. I had gotten my old clothes and we left for the tunnel to Orqueg. “Okay,” I said to Kalck once we were on the way. “I’ll come down to visit you at the passage every day at the same time. Okay?”

“Yes. That sounds acceptable, but I must ask: may I bring the others?” Kalck liked having the company of the other Nutars, but I had the feeling that he meant their riders, too.

“One pair every day.” I said. “I’m trying to get away from Voqueg for a while.”

“Yes, I know, but I have a very serious question.” By then, we had reached the passage. “I think you’ve probably been thinking about it as well. Will you be my bond?”

“Heck yes, man. I was, in fact, thinking about that, but I wasn’t sure what prerequisites there were and what not. But I’m going to get going for now.” I started up to the surface. When I got up, I went down to the park. When I got there, I saw a girl sitting all alone on the swings. She looked very sad and had scars all over her. I went over, sat next to her, and said, “Hey, I’m Saxen. You look like you haven’t been doing so good. What’s up?”

I noticed her stare at the ground when I asked her that. “Nothing,” she said, quite obviously lying.

“Come on,” I insisted. “I know that look. I used to give people that same look. You can tell me. I won’t care and I don’t have anybody to blab to, anyway.”

She looked into my eyes for a second. Before she could help it, she looked down and said, “My mom died years ago. I now live with my grandparents, nobody cares about me, and you see these scars? They’re all from my dad.” She said all of this with anger and disappointment evident in her voice. Tears started to roll down her cheeks.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright. I care about you,” I whispered to her as I got up and put my arm around her. “Don’t let anybody tell you that you’re worse than they are because you’ve had a bad past. You’ve got to put your behind in your past…wait…that’s not right. You can’t change your past, but you CAN change your future. Make sure and change your future, for me if for nobody else. I just lost a friend the other day. He was killed. Thing will get better.”

She couldn’t help but laugh a little when I talked about putting your behind in your past. She really appreciated what I had said. “Will you come by here again?”

“Sure. I’ll come here at the same time as often as I can. In fact, I can come by every day this week.”

“Thanks,” she choked out as I started to walk away.

I stopped for a second. Then I turned around and said, “Y’know, I just realized you never told me your name.”

“Agalia.”

“Agalia,” I repeated. “Beautiful, just like you are.” With that, I left. I didn’t know what I was going to do all week. As I was walking, I saw a girl I recognized. She waved me down.

Confused, I walked over and quickly recognized her as Rachael. She was about 5’6”, had blonde hair and blue eyes, and could be very dingy. “Where have you been?” She asked.

“I’ve been staying with another part of my family,” I lied.

“Oh. Well, I’ve been wondering what happened to you.” That made me laugh. I ended up in Anhnyqueg because nobody cared enough about me to know what was going on in my life.

“Nothing’s happened. I haven’t really been doing anything.” As soon as I finished speaking, I noticed her eyeing some of my cuts. “Those are from some nasty trees. You know me.” I stopped for a second, thinking about what I was going to do next. “See you around,” I said lamely and left.
_______
I spent the next week hanging out mostly with Agalia, and some with Rachael. On the last day of my stay, I decided that I would get some things for my friends back home. I took the money I had to the local mall and proceeded to get some new stuff for everyone. I started with me. I exchanged my old black, sleeveless shirt bearing a red cross for a white one, otherwise exactly the same. I also bought a black vest to wear over it. I bought some new boots while I was there. They had the same design: black with two red strips at the top. I decided to get some jeans that weren’t cut-offs and a large, black, hooded cloak, too. I got Jamey some basic jeans and a plain, white shirt. I got Christy a black shirt with a white cross on it along with several other designs. For Trisha, I bought a light red, sleeveless shirt and a pair of jeans. The shirt was borderline on pink. On my way back to Anhnyqueg, some guy came up to me.

“What’s up with you? You hang out with Scar? And then, you try to be all cool hanging with Rachael. You’re a disgrace.” With that, he went to punch me in the face. I dodged and grabbed his wrist. I started twisting his arm behind his back. He decided to kick me in a place that he shouldn’t have. I released him, but I quickly lunged at him, grabbed his arm, and flipped him.

Once he was down, I put my foot on his stomach and yelled at him, “What are you doing? Are you stupid? Picking fights with people could get you killed! Heck, you’re lucky I didn’t break your neck!” He could see in my eyes that I wasn’t lying. I let him up, and he ran off. I continued down to meet Kalck.

When I got down there, he was by himself. “Alright, Kalck, I’m ready to go back.”

“Let’s go. When we get back, we have a lot to do. Christy and Jamey held off their bonding ceremonies with Karis and Ajax for your return and we are to be holding a memorial service for Zangus this week as well.”

We were silent the rest of the way. When we got back, I went to bed.
_________
In the morning, I had breakfast with Jamey, Christy, and Trisha. She had joined our group permanently. “So,” I said, breaking the awkward silence, “We’re doing a triple bonding ceremony?”

“Yeah,” Jamey said. “It’ll be the first one in over 1000 years.”

“It’ll be really cool.” Trisha told us ending up looking in my eyes.

I smiled. “So, what about the memorial service for Zangus?”

“That’ll be in a few days. We’ll hold the service and, afterwards, there will be a ball celebrating the end of the war. We’ll all be expected to speak on his behalf at the service.” Trisha explained. “The bonding ceremony is tomorrow afternoon. We’ll go through it tonight so that you’re all prepared.”

“Okay, let’s head to training.” I suggested. We all headed to the Open Hall and mounted our future bonds. “Kalck, where is the most dangerous place in all of Voqueg?” I asked Kalck.

“The most dangerous place in all of Voqueg would be the wilderness. Everything is deadly, even the plants. Anything you touch will try to kill you.” He told me. When we arrived at morning training, everyone crowded around me.

“Hey, what’s going on? Everyone, please back away.” I said. Unfortunately, I don’t like crowds. “GET AWAY FROM ME!” I yelled as I drew my sword. My battle mode was activating. Jamey. Christy and Trisha started backing people away and the nutars of our group were blanketing me with their wings because as I stopped yelling, I started shaking and fell to the ground, crying. People finally went back to what they were doing and I got up, still shaking really bad.

“What happened?” Trisha and Christy asked at the same time.

“Yeah, man. You just broke down.” Jamey joined in.

“I don’t do crowds,” I stated simply while giving them a glare that said “I really don’t like this.”

“Let’s just get to training.” Kalck suggested.

“Sounds good,” I said, still a little off. We went through strength training, acrobatic training, and a bit of sparring with no weapons. When we returned back, I took the three of them to get the stuff I had gotten for them. They all seemed happy that they now had something that was theirs from Orqueg. We all went on to lunch from there. The rest of the day was pretty routine until that night, after dinner. We all met in a smaller hall for the rehearsal of the Bonding Ceremony.

“Now, for the ceremony, all of you are expected to be in uniform. The oath goes like this: Pies zenn ayn antyika, pies zenn hekwaj antyika, pies zenn thine antyika, ey pies zenn thanatos antyika. Got it?” I actually knew what that meant. It meant “We will eat together, we will fight together, we will live together, and we will die together.” It was simple and to the point. “Now,” she said, “go over it a couple of times.”

I turned to Kalck and tried to remember my language classes. He placed his claw in my hand. I started. “Kalck, waka nutar, pies zenn ayn antyika, pies zenn hekwaj antyika, pies zenn thine antyika, ey pies zenn thanatos antyika.”

He then responded, “Saxen, waka Zytanh, pies zenn ayn antyika, pies zenn hekwaj antyika, pies zenn thine antyika, ey pies zenn thanatos antyika.” After that, we all went back to our bunks and went to bed.
_________

[nomacaa]

Yeah, I work kind of fast. I already doubled its size.

[yanagi]

(I suppose this thread is specifically for you updating your history/story of Saxen, but you did say that I could be cruel and that implies an understanding that I would have something to say about his story.)

You are speaking as the character. The character is you as the whole thing, save one accidental he, is in first person.

Unless Saxen is really into fashion or paying attention to his surroundings he would not see every detail on a person's clothing. That would be something you would like to describe as the author but it really isn't necessary.

You describe food, clothing, people in detail but not emotions, expressions. You managed to put a lot of explanation in this thing but it just feels so... random. Perhaps because Saxon does not seem particularly surprised or sad about being gone from the world above.

Now he can go back to the surface to see a movie?
You can go back up? You aren't trapped? You live among people different from yourself and, except for in the beginning you are treated pretty well. Everything seems to be going the way you, as the author, want it, but would it really go this way if the creatures and characters you wrote about actually existed?

Here's an example of what I mean
I went down to the park. When I got there, I saw a girl sitting all alone on the swings. She looked very sad and had scars all over her.
So. The first thing you noticed was a girl with scars who looked sad. Sad is a very general term. Why did you notice her right away? Is the first thing you thought. "Oh, that girl is covered in scars? Girls covered in scars tend not to wear revealing clothing.
(yeah, I saw the picture. No sleeves, huh?)

Then, she tells you the tragedy of her life and lets you touch her.
A girl who was abused by her father lets a adult (or nearly) male touch her. No flinching, no nothing. (fine maybe you're really non threatening and soul mates and that's why she doesn't have the normal reaction.) But she still feels like someone he had to meet, not someone he actually met.

I guess this works as a journal style. Even then though there would be less detail.

I'm going to echo serif's favorite sentence. Needs more
paragraph breaks.

Now, if any of this doesn't make sense. I apologize.
I did end up skimming over some of it because I found certain parts interesting and the rest I had trouble conquering. Just so much text with too few paragraph breaks.

[nomacaa]

Thank you for your critique, it really got me thinking. I'm one of those people that, when I read a review of my stuff, I have to see what I can defend and what's just me being stupid. So, here goes.

On the point of clothing, these people wear the same style all of the time, but as for the not paying enough attention to the emotions, that's a flaw in my thinking. I rarely think about how I feel. For the point of Saxen staying in Anhnyqueg, even after he has the option of returning, he doesn't want to. There's nothing there for him. I know that I wouldn't want to go back to the life that he had. He is treated well because Socales is an understanding old man who is very welcoming. His main goal, that will become more evident later, is to achieve peace with everything in Voqueg, including the nine foot rats that show up later. You're totally right about the bit with Agalia, though. I should have put more thought into that, but I wrote it in at about 2:00 in the morning.

Again, thank you.