Midnight Encounter

[shiay]

Welcome to the RP Academy, scryxis. I'm Shiay and I shall be your Instructor for this session ^^

Here is how this will work:

I would like for you to post to this thread as if posting a new RP thread with your character. I will then see what it is that you can improve on and point them out to you, as well as replying as one of my own characters.

Please understand that this is, by no means, a way to say that your skills are lacking, or that you have been singled out; it is merely a means to assist your growth as a writer and a roleplayer. We all have things to learn from each other; just as I have things I would like to teach you, I'm sure that there's also things that I can learn from you~

The rules are as as follows:

•Respect the site rules. Which means no powerplaying/godmodding other people's characters. I and others don't really care for that type of behavior D:

• Listen to advice. I cannot teach one who will not learn.

• Feel free to disagree If you have issue with something I said, please feel free to point it out. This is a group effort. That said, should you do so, provide reasoning and your alternative views in a calm, rational, and non-confrontational manner, I will treat you with respect, and expect the same treatment in return.

• Have fun. This is a game; furthermore, this is out of plot (unless you later choose to add this into continuity) roleplay. Anything that does not conflict with the rules goes; and that said, we have a little more leeway here. Namely, the location, situation, and anything else are up in the air. If you want to try out something, feel free to do so.

With that said, please allow us to begin! ^^

[scryxis]

There was a stillness in the air that gave a disturbing quality to the already imposing darkness of the night. It was a quiet evening in the world of Twilight Town, and the florescent light on the streets lit the empty space like christmas. Scryxis meandered easily through the streets with a calm demeanor, but eyes that took in every facet of his surrounding area. He was on night watch again, like he was every night when the denizens of the city retired from the darkness.

'I've not seen it this quiet in a while. Where are the heartless, normally they would be crawling these streets?' Even in the stillness of peace though, he could feel them, on the edge of his vision. They waited to strike against the traitor with flashing eyes and unhindered glee. The hair on the back of Scryxis' neck rose as he felt the prescence ogf another nearby. He tensed his muscles and prepared himself for anything.

[shiay]

Alright-- all of my OOC and Instructor content shall now be in this light green colour.

Looking at your writing style, it's not bad-- just some few minor things here and there that's a little bothersome, but other than that, it's really not all that. You really won't be here for all that long. A good thing. ^^

Okay... just looking at what you have--

Scryxis meandered easily through the streets with a calm demeanor, but eyes that took in every facet of his surrounding area.

The part after the comma is a little iffy, 'but eyes that took in every facet of his surrounding area.' -- it doesn't exactly make sense with what's before it. -- Also... on a side note... how exactly do you pronounce 'Scryxis'?

Anyways... the other thing that bothered me was this: '-- Where are the heartless, normally they would be crawling these streets?' The question mark at the end of that totally throws me off. Perhaps if it were to be re-worded and punctuated like this?: '-- Where are the Heartless? Normally they would be crawling these streets.'

Though I and others are guilty of it-- run-on sentences aren't always the way to go. ^^;;

Wandering Twilight Town at night? Sure, it wasn't something that the ginger-haired teen really looked at doing all that much, but there she was. Why? Well... that answer she couldn't quite answer yet, either, for you see-- she didn't know it. All she knew was that there was something out here... something that called for her attention to be drawn towards it.

This was her home world... it was normally peaceful. What was going on that made the teen so restless on this particular night? Not only restless, but uneasy as well. As Kirata wandered the through the cobbled pathways of Twilight Town, she also sported her dual spiked fans, Aero and Aresna, at the holsters the resided at the sides of her waist. She wasn't sure if she were going to need them-- but having them for her wind magic was certainly going to be a lot more better for her than if she were to use any other magic she had learned. After all, Kirata didn't want to wake up the residents of Twilight Town were sure to use the other spells she knew.

Pausing, Kirata scanned the area with her light grey eyes. She was concealed within the dark, as she chose not to stand out underneath one of the street lights that overlooked the pathways. There was someone else out here-- and it was someone that Kirata didn't recognize. It was probably to be expected, considering that she had been taken away from Twilight Town and had been missing in action for two years and had now just found a way back not even a couple of weeks ago.

[scryxis]

(OCC: WOO! I like hearing that, I wanna get involved with the plot already!! Run-ons have always been my weakness. Lets see if I cant improve a bit. Oh and the way to pronounce Scryxis is like this; *Scrick-sis*.)

Scryxis had stopped walking after sensing the energy of the other person, but as he scanned the area he could not pick anyone from out of the darkness. A smile crept onto the side of his lips.

'Well then...if I cant find you as a human, Ill have to rely on the wolf.' He had no need of going into his full hybrid form, so instead he just caused a small transformation in his nose. The pink, soft flesh twisted and hardened slightly. It began to fade to a nocturne black and stretched slightly out from Scryxis' face. Soon it was a wolves nose, and it twitched slightly as he lifted it into the air and begin to pick out scents
.
There were many smells to get through, but he soon picked up the smell of sweet chemicals, betraying the perfume the average female teen wore. Scryxis turned his nose human again and turned around, his eyes locking onto the exact position where the young woman hid.
"Come out of the shadows if you mean no harm. I am not here to spill blood tonight."

[shiay]

Alrighty... the post is good-- however, another detail that's bugging me is that there's not an apostrophe where it should be. Words like "can't", "I'll", "I'm" seeing as I believe that the apostrophe is to allow the reader to know that that word is a combination-- like how can't is 'can not' or I'll is 'I will' and so on and so on with the other words like that.

Also: 'Soon it was a wolves nose' -- That can actually stay 'wolf' and just be 'Soon it was a wolf's nose' *please blame my interests in all literature, zoology and actually working at a zoo for this one*

The grey eyes of the ginger-haired teen narrowed-- a rare occurrence for her, especially when one considered her bubbly nature and inability to get angry. Kirata actually wasn't angry, not by any stretch of the imagination. She had narrowed her eyes in concentration and in interest in what was going on. Since it was in the dark she had decided to conceal herself in, it was hard for her to pick out what was going on, requiring her to squint in order to focus on what she was looking at.

"Well then...if I can't find you as a human, I'll have to rely on the wolf." Kirata heard the man say.

Seeing the transformation in the guy's face sent a slight shiver up Kirata's spine. Though she was a magical prodigy, she had never leaned transfiguration. It was something she marveled, but for her-- it seemed nearly impossible. That didn't stop her from learning as best she could, though.

Kirata didn't wear perfume that often-- she liked the scents that many provided, but she knew that if she were to buy the stuff, she would have ended up overusing it and making the stench unbearable. It there was any scent added onto her main scent, she would blame it on the cherry incense that she had let burn in her home. Well, whatever, that wasn't something that she had to concern herself over anyways-- it seemed that the man had turned in her direction.

"Come out of the shadows if you mean no harm. I am not here to spill blood tonight."

Following the instruction, Kirata came out into view, standing directly underneath a street light that hung overhead. She had changed her gaze to that of her normal innocent look that she carried more often times than not. She was not a fighter-- no, one could have easily told that from her strength and stamina levels. Kirata took the role a Red Mage normally would-- using both black and white magic.

Offering a small smile, Kirata said, "good evening."

[scryxis]

Scryxis turned his body to face her fully, something he learned people did when they wanted to be less threatening. The wind blew slightly, whiping his bangs around in front of his green eyes. They reflected the streetlight incandescently as he turned to face her.
"It's a strange thing to see one as...delicate looking as yourself to be out at this time of night. Are you...uh, that is...." It was obvious that he was not comfortable with social situations like this yet, but he had to at least try. He shifted his feet nervously and shoved his hands into the pockets of his overcoat, then regained his compsoure.
"I guess I should start with a name. Im Scryxis."

[shiay]

><;; Okay-- so, the writing's good, yes-- however-- the spacing is something that I (and actually-- a lot of others on the site) seem to have a problem with. It's only with spacing the paragraphs-- like... you have it single spaced whereas many of us (and what the Instructors try to encourage) do the double spacing.

Normally, I would say to use the tab key to show that there's a new paragraph there, but thanks to website coding and the internet being how it is-- it merely tabs to the next 'selectable' item on the page...

The lilac coloured pleated skirt that Kirata wore, her baggy sleeves and her now golden shining locks (courtesy of the light above) billowed in the wind that decided to make itself known. She wasn't thinking much of his turning to face her-- though it was something she approved of. Turning to face the person you're talking with was polite after all.

"It's a strange thing to see one as...delicate looking as yourself to be out at this time of night. Are you...uh, that is...."

The magic user tilted her head only a fraction. Delicate? Her? It may have been the truth in the ways that she looked-- but it was damn near impossible to break her from her happy-go-lucky attitude to something that's cowers in the corner. She had her friend, Hikari, to thank for her keeping that particular aspect.

"I guess I should start with a name. I'm Scryxis."

Scryxis... Skrick sus... Kira repeated the name in her head a few times before raising her right hand and placing it on her chest -- more so out of habit than anything else -- and introduced herself, it was common courtesy after all, "my name's Kirata Illusend... or 'Kira' just for short..."

[scryxis]

(I know, quite an annoyance. Okay so lets see if I cant do it this time.)

He smiled a little bit. She had even seen him change and she didn't seem to have any fear of him. It was the first real time he had gotten a name back from anyone. He was a bit lost as to what to do now.

"It's good to meet you. Where are you from?"

A reasonable question to ask, he thought as he took his hands out of the large pockets. He was beginning to feel more comfortable around her. The gauntlet on his left arm made a metal clink as it shifted with the movement.

[shiay]

Okay-- good! Let's keep this up for a little while longer.

Fear... it almost seemed to be something that Kirata lacked. However, that couldn't be the case, since everyone had fears. It was just odd to her, some things, but her fears were pretty much a secret to anyone and everyone that knew her.

"It's good to meet you. Where are you from?"

Where was she from-- if Kirata was Hikari, she would have been giving a mocking laugh. No, instead the ginger smoothed the pleats of her skirt and gave a smile as she replied, "I'm actually from this place, here-- Twilight Town." It was the truth... she was born and raised in Twilight Town, only gone for two years due to an odd occurrence that took place during one of her camping trips with her friend.

It was good to be back in her home world, though.

"Say, what about you?" Kirata asked. It not that she was nervous to be asking questions. Actually, seeing this ginger be nervous would really be quite the sight. Kira was a happy-go-lucky kind of teen that did her best to enjoy life as it was presented to her. Rolling with the flow and going with the punches.

[scryxis]

Scryxis' attitude was quite different from that of the young girl he was conversing with. He hadn't seen many bright times, and in his desperation rather than going with the punches he took sides with the enemy throwing them. He was content to be the protector from the shadows until his infamy was forgotten.

"Say, what about you?"

Scryxis thought on the question for a moment. It had been so long since he had seen his home...so long since he saw it consumed by the darkness.

"My home no longer exists in the realm that we know. It was destroyed...a long time ago. I haven't been able to recall the name for years now."

His head lowered as he felt the sorrow of his lost family. He could never remember their names or faces, but he remembered their essence. He remembered and it tore at his heart.

"So, I guess if I were to have a home, then it would be here."

[shiay]

Keeping her attitude wasn't an easy task, as people seemed to think that it was. There were many flaws. Kirata hated being alone, though did her best to make up for it by keeping a smile on her face and looking to the brighter things in life. A true optimist, perhaps. Others would see just a ditsy girl instead of taking the time to observe and get to know her better and finding out why it was that she decided to be like that.

Making some motions forwards, Kirata was soon about a couple of yards or so away from Scryxis before she halted and awaited his answer to her question. Curiosity killed the cat, so they say, but with Kirata, curiosity allowed for that cat to learn a few things-- and perhaps if it wised up, it wouldn't have died.

"My home no longer exists in the realm that we know. It was destroyed...a long time ago. I haven't been able to recall the name for years now."

"I..." Kirata started, her mouth falling open a bit, "I'm so sorry to hear that... I hope that things are good for you, though..." A world getting destroyed was a saddening thought... and it would have perhaps been something that angered Kira if it were to have happened to Twilight Town.

Watching as Scryxis' head lowered in what Kirata assumed to be a sense of sadness, her lips curved in a bit of a frown and she glanced down to the ground. It really must have been hard... to lose your world, your home, family, loved ones and friends.... The only experience of loss that the ginger had really ever experience was when she was stripped of this world and brought to another. She had thought herself to be lost for the rest of her life, but she was finally back in her home world. Others would not have been so fortunate-- as proven.

"So, I guess if I were to have a home, then it would be here."

Looking back up to him, Kirata smiled again and gave a response, "well, Twilight Town is a very peaceful place... I sure hope that you are enjoying your time living here."

[scryxis]

"I'm so sorry to hear that... I hope that things are good for you, though..."

There was something about this teen, a sort of light that shone about her. It was clear to Scryxis that she was familiar with tragedy and loss, and yet she still kept such an attitude. It was inspiring to see for one such as himself. As she moved toward him he smiled. It was a good feeling to not be feared. One Scryxis was beginning to enjoy a great deal.

"well, Twilight Town is a very peaceful place... I sure hope that you are enjoying your time living here."

It was at this moment that the sizzle of black energy ran up Scryxis' spine. Two defenders and a large body heartless appeared from shadow portals, accompanied by several of the smaller knight heartless. It was almost as if the sentence was a que for their arrival. Scryxis turned to face his mortal enemies, his coat and baggy clothes shifting with the movement. A sort of thrill ran through his veins, the same thrill that always did when he was preparing for a fight.

He took a stance which would offer protection not only for himself, but for Kira as well. The shadows around him began to shift and twist, and he pulled in enough to aid him in the battle. It would be easy, at this time of night there were plenty of shadows for him to work with. He turned to give Kira a sideways look over his shoulder.

"Yeah, most peaceful town I've ever been to." There was a sarcastic edge to his voice, and he shot her a smile before turning his attention back to the black monsters before him. He waited for their move, he never made the first move.

[shiay]

There was certainly a kind of light that Kirata seemed to radiate. It most likely had to do with the optimistic attitude she seemed to have towards anything, everything and life itself. People had been attracted to this certain kind of light and had even halted them from doing what their original intentions were towards her. Like this one time that Kirata had almost been pick pocketed by-- actually, a rather decent thief, if she should say so, herself-- and she ended up befriending the person. Thinking of him-- it had actually been a while since she had seen him.

Sensing the sudden chill in the air, Kirata turned and saw as Defender, Big Body and Knight Heartless showed up. Her hands immediately were placed upon the dual spiked fans, Aero and Aresna, that resided in their holsters. Drawing them, Kirata opened them to their full length and prepared herself to cast anything that she had learned over the past years of studying magic. Luckily for her, she knew quite a bit... being a magical prodigy was something that the ginger took pride in-- even more so when she could use that magic to benefit others and the place in which she was protecting.

However, the man, Scryxis, took a battle-ready stance before her. She admired his will to be doing so, however, her attention was mainly on the Heartless that had decided to rear their unwanted faces at this time of night.

"Yeah, most peaceful town I've ever been to."

Kirata could hear the sarcasm in that and she simply replied, "but Heartless had never shown up in Twilight Town before-- why are they, now?" The thought and sight baffled her. It was true that Heartless and Nobodies hadn't really been sighted in Twilight Town before... but now? It was an irritating thought.

[scryxis]

(Ah, I believe I may have made a mistake. I was under the impression that Twilight Town was still infected with heartless. I will be sure to keep it in mind for the future.)

Scryxis' heart grew heavy. He knew the reason these heartless were here. They had probably been sent by Maleficent or Pete, who were constantly sending assasins after him. He shook of the guilt momentarily, and turned his attention to the to the Large Body that was bumbling toward him. Scryxis took note of where the shadow ended and took a few steps back, egging the huge heartless on.

The heartless slapped its belly as it prepared to make a charge attack. It rushed forward, fading out of the streetlight and into the shadows. This thing was so slow it was hardly fair, and Scryxis leapt over the top of it as it charged. He hooked his chain onto the back of the creature, landing softly and closing his eyes in concentration. Suddenly the shadows shot forward and formed into a column, but it was as solid as steel for some reason.

It launched the heartless up, and Scryxis used the momentum of a spin to snap the chain and slingshot the Large Body toward its companions.

"Well...truth be told, they are here after me. I think they are anyway. Look, you need to get out of here. No sense risking your life for a perfect stranger." He shouted at Kira as he began to move toward her. He didn't want to get too far in case...well in case of anything.

[shiay]

I believe that you're ready to get on out of here, honestly ^^ Now... if you want to continue this in an official thread, I'll be more than happy to move this thread to the Twilight Town forum to do so.